# General Mandolin Topics > eBay, Craig's List, etc. >  The Monroe Toaster has a bidder!

## johnsoba

Act fast.

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## johnsoba

Just sold on eBay. What items will be up for auction next?

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## Jeff Mando

Well, for $300 you could set up a business making "torrefied" mandolin bridges (using this toaster) with the 100% honest claim that the wood is toasted on the same equipment that Bill Monroe used.............................to make his morning toast!  :Laughing: 

Investors?  :Mandosmiley:

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## MikeEdgerton

I'm guessing it was purchased by a well known Monroe memorabilia collector named Tom. Just a wild guess on my part.

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Timbofood

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## Glassweb

(chorus to the upcoming hit "Bill Monroe's Toaster") - Ok gang... how about a community songwriting project? Go for it!

I've always been a humble man
I've never been a boaster
But here today I proudly say
I own Bill Monroe's toaster

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bigskygirl, 

Bob Clark, 

colorado_al, 

Dale Ludewig, 

dchernack, 

FLATROCK HILL, 

Joe Mendel, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Steve VandeWater, 

Timbofood

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## FLATROCK HILL

> I've always been a humble man
> I've never been a boaster
> But here today I proudly say
> I own Bill Monroe's toaster


Hey I like that. Especially the way the accent naturally falls on *MON*roe.

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Paul Statman

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## MikeEdgerton

Life is like a roller coaster
We can all agree on that
But when Bill would use his toaster
Do you think he wore a hat?

(to the tune of Life's Railway to Heaven)

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bigskygirl, 

Dale Ludewig, 

David Rambo, 

FLATROCK HILL, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Steve VandeWater

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## FLATROCK HILL

> I've always been a humble man
> I've never been a boaster
> But here today I proudly say
> I own Bill Monroe's toaster


I'm sticking with the Glassweb meter:

He run a all kinds a bread through there
a settin' at the table
But never gnawed on nuthin'
that was chewy as a bagel

(Mandolin Break)

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bigskygirl, 

Glassweb, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Timbofood

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## Glassweb

OK... so maybe here's an opening shot...

I woke today and checked Ebay
Just like I often do
A junkie for the junky stuff 
They sell to me and you
When something really caught my eye
An auction more than most
Intrigued me when I read the phrase
"Of Bill Monroe and Toast"

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bigskygirl, 

Dale Ludewig, 

David Rambo, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Steve VandeWater, 

Timbofood

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## Glassweb

> Life is like a roller coaster
> We can all agree on that
> But when Bill would use his toaster
> Do you think he wore a hat?
> 
> (to the tune of Life's Railway to Heaven)


Hey Mike, with your "roller coaster"

The bids rolled in so wild and fast
Was like a roller coaster
That fateful day on old Ebay
They auctioned Monroe's toaster

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bigskygirl, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

MikeEdgerton, 

Russ Donahue

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## Bertram Henze

Let rednecks have their collar roaster,
and bidders ride their roller coaster,
I am not the original poster,
I'll never have a Monroe toaster.

This is a fact, but even so,
here's a toast to Bill Monroe!

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bigskygirl, 

George R. Lane, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Timbofood

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## soliver

Op’n up my eyes from dreamy sleep
And climb on outa bed
Wish I had Bill’s coffee mug
To help my sleepy head 

But all is well for breakfast plans
As now it can be said 
Cuz I bought ole’ Monroe’s Toaster
With which to toast my bread

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bigskygirl, 

colorado_al, 

George R. Lane, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue

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## soliver

Ole brother Skaggs, he sang about 
the way you can’t hurt ham
But I have to say, this very day
That I’m in a little jam

For I bought Monroe’s toaster 
But I really cannot boast 
I fed it bread and sat too long
And burnt my Bluegrass toast

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bigskygirl, 

George R. Lane, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Tobin

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## Steve VandeWater

My wife observed the slots too small 
for bagels or a muffin,
But just like Bill I told her then
"That ain't no part o' nuffin!"

Tenbrooks said to Molly
What makes your toast so brown?
Just slide selector farther right
And push the lever down

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bigskygirl, 

Dale Ludewig, 

George R. Lane, 

Glassweb, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

soliver

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## Bill Cameron

When I went to use the toaster
I Sure got poisoned dead
My final thought, ’I shouldnt have bought
Monroe’s last loaf of bread’

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Dale Ludewig, 

George R. Lane, 

jaycat, 

Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

Steve VandeWater

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## jaycat

I haven't got the wherewithal
To go out on a limb.
Now here my sad confession:
My toaster is Pac Rim.

....sorry....

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Mandolin Cafe, 

Paul Statman, 

Russ Donahue, 

soliver, 

Steve VandeWater, 

Timbofood

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## Jeff Mando

> My toaster is Pac Rim.


With a good setup it should provide years of good service....

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## Steve VandeWater

And if I remember the label correctly, so was Bill's toaster

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## Dave Greenspoon

Ain't no part of nuthin' if'n it still has a label...

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## allenhopkins

Hope who ever bought it, proposes a toast to Bill's memory...

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MikeEdgerton

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## jim simpson

I found a picture of Bill Monroe's other toaster. It seems in his later days, he had downsized from his bus and could be seen in his "toaster".

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## Tom C

> I found a picture of Bill Monroe's other toaster. It seems in his later days, he had downsized from his bus and could be seen in his "toaster".


I once covered all Honda logos with Black&Decker on my friend's.

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jim simpson, 

Rick Jones, 

Timbofood

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## soliver

I was feelin' so blue
Since I ain't got no toaster
From the Monroe estate
I just can't be a boaster

But low and behold 
My day is now much more aliver
Cuz I went on Ebay
and bought Monroe's Screwdriver!

For the low low price of $24.99 you can own a screwdriver authenticated to be out of the toolbox of the Father of Bluegrass:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Bill-Monroe...ss!46774!US!-1

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Jesse Kinman, 

Paul Statman

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## your_diamond

Just don't get electrocuted by Bill Monroe's Screwdriver when you go to fix his toaster, with it. 

Your right, it's a nut driver! 

_<inappropriate. no place on this forum for this kind of comment>_

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Timbofood

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## Timbofood

One has been hilarious folks! The laughter has made me forget that it’s only about 12 degrees outside.
The thing about the “screwdriver” is, it’s not, it’s a nut driver. Looks too big to be used to adjust a truss rod.

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your_diamond

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## Steve VandeWater

His disciples may know all about bluegrass, but apparently they can't tell a screwdriver from a nut driver.

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Timbofood, 

your_diamond

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## soliver

:Laughing: 

I was thinking something along those lines myself.

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Timbofood

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## your_diamond

Whoever is buying this stuff might want WILLIE NELSON's Rolling Papers http://r.ebay.com/uM3nsy 
because they must be smokin' da chronic.

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## Steve VandeWater

I'm an old fool-skinner, down ol' Kentucky way- hay- hay
I can empty out my junk drawer, and sell it on E-Bay ay ay!
Yodel-ay-hee-hee
A' hee hee hee heeee!

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Glassweb, 

Timbofood

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## Tobin

So I guess this feller is going to sell every single piece of mundane everyday junk that Bill Monroe owned, one item at a time?  This will provide years of entertainment.

It'll be difficult to restrain myself, but I'm going to hold out for his back brace to come up for auction.

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## Timbofood

As long as his used T.P. (Not Tail Piece) doesn’t show up I’ll let people get as weird as they can get.

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## Floyd Lord

Dont forget the incomparable .....The ultimate and still weirdest Monroe related item ever..

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Edd-Mayfiel...vip=true&rt=nc

Unfortunately the photo is no longer available..
kicking myself for not screen-grabbing it..

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## Bertram Henze

> Dont forget the incomparable .....The ultimate and still weirdest Monroe related item ever..
> 
> https://www.ebay.com/itm/Edd-Mayfiel...vip=true&rt=nc
> 
> Unfortunately the photo is no longer available..
> kicking myself for not screen-grabbing it..


How much indirection is acceptable for memorabilia? There must be sods of grass Mr Monroe' s foot has trod on. Can you dye them blue and sell them?

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## Bill McCall

If you bought the toaster you could start selling Bill’s toast.  Like a license to print money.  My god how the money would roll in.

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## AlanN

Well, I heard that Bill could be a *crusty* old feller who didn't pay his musicians much *bread*.

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Glassweb

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## mrmando

The penknife he used to cut "The Gibson" out of his Loar's headstock -- now THAT might be worth bidding on.

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Glassweb, 

MikeEdgerton

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## bratsche

What a hilarious thread - had no idea there were so many poets here! Just wish we knew who all the _suckers_ were.   :Laughing:   Ahem, I feel a verse coming on.....

I think that I shall never see
one thing that's lost to history.
The thing I miss, that is to say,
is "who bought what" on Old eBay!

bratsche
(an eBay user since long before it was a household word)

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## theguitarcollector

> (chorus to the upcoming hit "Bill Monroe's Toaster") - Ok gang... how about a community songwriting project? Go for it!
> 
> I've always been a humble man
> I've never been a boaster
> But here today I proudly say
> I own Bill Monroe's toaster


She's my sweet little Procter Silex                 
I watch her toast, as the years go by
And I'll never buy another
I'll keep her til the day I die

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Glassweb

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## Macabre

300 for a toaster!? Do you think I was born yeasterday?

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## johnsoba

I'm the OP and you guys are famous now! Front page of Mandolin Cafe. Now the screwdriver . .  .

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## Steve VandeWater

I'm waiting to bid on Bill's uncle's pen that he wrote the song about

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Timbofood

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## sblock

Oh, it'll toast some Wonder bread,
but not an English muffin.
Because, as Monroe told us,
"That ain't no part of nuthin!"

Yes, I would bid on hat or boots,
but who could be a boaster,
if all they got from eBay 
was William Monroe's toaster?!

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## allenhopkins

Is it true Monroe ended up with the toaster 'cause his older siblings got all the larger appliances?

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David Lewis, 

FLATROCK HILL, 

Timbofood

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## David Lewis

Cry Cry Darlin'
I set my toaster to nine
Cry Cry Darlin'
NOw it's black and my toast ain't so fine...

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Timbofood

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## Macabre

> His disciples may know all about bluegrass, but apparently they can't tell a screwdriver from a nut driver.


I bread to differ with you.

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## Timbofood

This is starting to get a little crusty.

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FLATROCK HILL, 

Macabre

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## johnsoba

To the tune of John Hartford's "Theyre Gonna Tear Down The Grand Ole Opry":

They're gonna auction Bill MON-roe's toaster,
They gonna sell the machine that made Bill's white bread brown . . .

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## Jack-0

More toaster doggerel:

Bill really liked "Ole Sourdough"
cuz his toaster left a smell,
but Tenbrooks was the name he chosed
and I guess that turned out well.

and:

Big Mon was known to innovate
but his toaster showed no mercy,
it rolled up all the crumbs in one
and popped out a fresh baked Virzi.
Well you know them discs was hard to sell
'cuz they was all so crummy,
so he added a little torch and wire
and now they're .....pretty yummy??

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Glassweb

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## Steve VandeWater

I asked Mr. Bill for the time of day
He said he'd throwed his watch away.
And his toaster, and his tools, and who knows what else
That'll turn up on Ebay

In the forum, online, where the sun always shines
And we snicker at those we don't know
Who buys this stuff? Who, who, who?
Who, who who who who?

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Glassweb, 

Tobin

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## Dave Bradford

There once was a man from Racine,
Whose possessions created a scene.
When they went on eBay,
Some were excited to pay,
While some others thought it obscene.

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Glassweb, 

Timbofood

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## Jack-0

Getting further afield:

They're selling used strings on eBay,
they say from the Monroe folks.
How do I know they're his'n?
cuz they're worn on one side from downstrokes

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## Perry

Bill took the worst donut he ever ate
And placed it down upon the heated grate
Despite the baking and the heat
He still said boy... they ain't a bit sweet!

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## Steve Ostrander

Got up this morning and plugged it in
My new Bill Monroe bread toaster
But just like Bills great mandolin
Someone beat it with a fireplace poker!

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## Russ Donahue

Enough of the lyrics! Lets hear some tunes!

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