Ranger Stan

Even a Blind Hog Finds an Acorn Once in a While,
Or How I Accidentally Won the Kansas State Mandolin Championship

Even since I learned to play guitar in my early teens, I’ve made a hobby of backing people up in various contests. I’ve backed fiddle champions, banjo champions, and guitar champions in contests large and small. (I’ve also played for a lot of losers.) In August, 2014, I was invited to back one of the outstanding mandolin players in the state at the Kansas Mandolin Championship held every August in Lawrence, Kansas. This guy is really a hot picker on several instruments and has won both the mandolin and banjo championships up there and has also been in the top five at the Winfield contest, so I figured he was a strong shot to win again this year, so I said yes.

The prize money for 1st prize was $150 and 2nd prize was $100. He said he’d pay my gas and 10% of his winnings, so what could go wrong? He also told me that they only awarded a 2nd prize if there were at least 5 entries, so if we got there and there were only 3 entries, he was going to sign me up as a stooge so 2nd prize would be awarded and he could hedge his bets. That way, if somebody outplayed him, he could still go home with $100 minus my cut. Sounds great. I didn’t mind making a fool of myself in the contest if it would help him get prize money.

I’ll confess that I’d participated in a similar scam when I was 15. I went to Iuka, Illinois, about 50 miles from my home, to back a fiddle player in the 16 and under division of their fiddle contest. First prize was $25 and second was $10. Jim Bob went first and played well. While we were getting off the stage, the announcer asked if there were any other entries in the 16 and under division. He got no response, so Jim Bob said to him, “Yes, here’s one more. Stan wants to enter,” and handed me his fiddle and he took my guitar. Now I’d never had a fiddle in my hands, but I could play lots of tunes on the mandolin, so I sawed off “Ragtime Annie” and won $10. I know, I’m a bad person.

When my friend went to sign up, he asked how many entries they had and was told there were only three so far. So, he signed himself up and put my name down as #5, thus assuring second prize would be awarded. Now I’m in the contest and sweating bullets. Maybe it was just the 102 degree heat, but I quickly headed over under a shade tree and started practicing “Jerusalem Ridge” and “Festival Waltz.” By the time the contest rolled around an hour later I had put something together and had time to meet some of the other contestants (there were nine now) and found out a guy from Colorado didn’t have a backup player, so I volunteered to back him also.

My friend drew #2 and played great. I was sure he was going to win. I drew #5 and also played well while my friend backed me on guitar. The guy from Colorado had a bad case of the nerves and didn’t do so well, so after listening to all nine, I thought my friend was #1 and there was a tiny chance I might get 2nd. It was really hot, so after the contest, my friend headed home and I stuck around to pick up his winnings to take to him.

When it came time to announce the winners, I was standing in the crowd with my friend’s son who happened to live in Lawrence. They announced second place and it was a kid who had also played well, so I waited for my friend’s name to be read. Much to my shock, they said, “First place goes to Stan Greer.” My friend’s son and I burst into laughter because my win was so improbable. Naturally, the people around us were giving us the stink eye for being so rude as to laugh at the winner, but I guess they calmed down after I went up and got my check for $150, a certificate suitable for framing, and a trophy.

It’s been a couple of months now, and I’m still basking in the glow of my win. It was one of the highlights of my life, but I’ve retired from all competitions so I can go out on top. I’m pretty sure I know why I won. Everyone else played two fast tunes with lots of notes. I did that on one of mine, but the other one was a pretty waltz with lots of chords with numbers in them played masterfully by my friend. I think the judges were beaten down in the heat from hearing all those notes and the waltz felt like a breath of fresh air. So, even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.