Originally Posted by
Tom Haywood
There is some kind of a pattern to what they do at each jam. I suggest sitting out for the first couple of songs and just observe how the breaks are handed out. If they are distributing them through eye contact, it is likely that certain people are "favorites" and get called on first in most songs. Those people are generally always paying attention and are ready and willing, so if you are able to look at one of them and nod at any point during your song they'll play the break. You can also announce before you start your song that you will not play a break, and nod at one of those known break players who is looking at you. You could also ask one of those known players in advance if he/she would play a break when you do your song. One of the real keys to success is to arrange your songs being sure they have a consistent location for breaks - such as after every chorus.
I run a weekly jam session that has a large variety of music, musicians and skill levels that show up. I solve the problem you are having by going around the circle with breaks. It becomes obvious the first time around who doesn't want to play breaks, so it's also obvious who gets the next break. Some musicians don't like that format and really resist it, but it is very helpful for folks who are not yet comfortable calling on people.
There's nothing wrong at a bluegrass jam with practicing chopping and passing on the breaks, except that they may eventually quit asking and then it can become very difficult to get a break when you want one. Work up a simple break to one of the songs they play and when you're ready to give it a try, step up and make eye contact early in the song.