Embarrassment and Regret: Part of the Learning Process

[journeybear]

Truly mis-Handeled his part. Sounds like he forgot where he was for a moment, and mixed in some of what he was going to play at the midnight screening of a horror flick.

[Bill Findley]

Thank you, OldSausage, especially as to the first paragraph. I'm framing that one. And I do feel that I'm working way hard when I play out in jams, much harder than those better players who seem to be having a terrific time, as I sit scrunched over the mando getting cramps in my upper extremities. And if they get upset, meh -- I'm still the hardest working guy in the room. They just did their work a few decades before I did...

[Petrus]

Can't say as I recommend that method, unless you want to join the 27 Club.

Closer to the 47 Club in my case.

[pickit007]

I once heard Tony Rice being interviewed, he was playing with and being jointly interviewed with Norman Blake, I am sure many of you are also familiar with this interview but I can't recall where it was from, anyway, anyway, he was asked "how it was that he could play so perfectly" and answered: (paraphrasing a bit) "well, the older I get the less perfectly I seem to play, but I just don't worry about it as much"...great point and it can apply to all of us.

It also seems to me that my greatest point of embarassment while playing is muffing a solo, someone finally said this to me: "you should work most on your rhythm playing and worry less about your solos, in a song 3 minutes long your solo might last 15 seconds, you had better be good the other 2 minutes and 45 seconds".

Trite points, maybe, but they made an impact on me.

[Beanzy]

I love messing up.
I'd have hardly any stories to tell if I got things right, and that would be a bit boring.
Stories of success told by the protagonists are in danger of coming over as bragging or boorish, people switch off pretty quickly.
Failure stories told by the person involved are incredibly engaging, there's a real sense of jeapordy which hooks you.
So I say wear your wobbles like battle scars, and don your disasters like a super hero cape; they're interesting and fun.
As it is I reckon I've enough material in the pipeline to be interesting for years to come.
I bet there's a clanger in the concert tonight and I bet I'll do it, in front of the composer who will have coached us for two hours to get it right. Anything less will be a thing of wonder for all involved.

The thing is we try stuff and put ourselves out there at higher and higher levels, so we're either scrambling for the skill not to mess it up, or we're bored/boring.
The heat of embarassment we feel is just the glow from the exhaust of our creative engine.

[David Lewis]

And that's where Jazz came from... Ouch. Poor bloke.

[Eric C.]

The audience is paying more attention to the energy of the performance more so than a few failed licks. You're the only one that remembers a screw up after its over.

[Kowboy]

Has anyone here listened to The National Anthem being sung in public lately. Whew!!!

[High Lonesome Valley]

As well as having been a touring musician, I was involved in stage production of several bands.

The thing I found out, and the thing I still share, is that when you make a mistake, keep playing through and laugh out loud on stage, truly take it easy. Don't turn a little hiccup into a loud belch by stopping to regroup in the middle of the song, just play through. Kind of like riding a bicycle, if you stop in the middle of a wobble, you'll fall down, if you just keep peddling you'll be olay.

Next time you see the pros playing, listen for their mistakes and watch them smile at each other when they're made, happens more often than we realize.

[Randy Linam]

Tom,

Your sincere and contrite post is evidence of your heart and character. Even the Apostle Peter "stuck his foot in his mouth" and displayed unacceptable behavior on several occasions. As Peter did, you recognized your actions, apologized and took the appropriate steps to correct them. I both appreciate and respect that.

In my 55 years on this earth there are still MANY things that I am unsure of. I have learned a lot also. I have learned;

*When I become perfect I will expect perfection from everyone else.
*The more I learn, the more I realize how little I actually know.
*You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.
*Never fry bacon while you are naked.
*Never pet your dog when it's on fire.

God Bless,
Randy Linam

[journeybear]

Never pet your dog when it's on fire.

I dunno, that seems like exactly when you should pet him, when he needs comfort the most.

Well, OK, put out the fire first, then pet him. And maybe with some salve, while you're at it.

[Bill Clements]

No worries, Tom.
Don't be too hard on yourself and keep trying.

...remember that playing music is much harder to do when you're starting out. With time and practice it takes way less effort and much less of your brain's resources to achieve a much better result, and it's more enjoyable.

...you're probably the hardest working guy in the room.

David, as Jackie Gleason would say, "You're the greatest!"

[rosewoodmusic]

I made a fool of myself on stage at a large outdoor festival one summer day. I did most of our bands stage banter and I, in my own sarcastic way, tried to be funny. As Ken, our banjo/dobro player, needed some time to switch from dobro to banjo to perform Sledd Riding, I filled the time with a 15 second history of the banjo and how it was originally called a merriwacker (true). Our banjo player gave me the nod that he was good to go and I said "now Ken's gonna show us what he can do with his merriwacker!" I saw a lady in the front row turn to her friend and I could read her lips... "That's disgusting". Nobody laughed. They had come to hear the Osborne Brothers. Ken ripped into the song but I was in a daze for the rest of the set. I still make a pained grunting sound whenever I think of that.

[Franc Homier Lieu]

I made a fool of myself on stage at a large outdoor festival one summer day. I did most of our bands stage banter and I, in my own sarcastic way, tried to be funny. As Ken, our banjo/dobro player, needed some time to switch from dobro to banjo to perform Sledd Riding, I filled the time with a 15 second history of the banjo and how it was originally called a merriwacker (true). Our banjo player gave me the nod that he was good to go and I said "now Ken's gonna show us what he can do with his merriwacker!" I saw a lady in the front row turn to her friend and I could read her lips... "That's disgusting". Nobody laughed. They had come to hear the Osborne Brothers. Ken ripped into the song but I was in a daze for the rest of the set. I still make a pained grunting sound whenever I think of that.

If it is true that this is a historically accurate name for a banjo, i don't see why this is embarrassing. But the Google is not corroborating your claim. Can you give us a source for this?

[rosewoodmusic]

OK, not the original name, just a nickname. Must have read it on the internet. The point of my post was that I am trying to change and I am trying to not talk before I think. I think.

[Astro]

I would have laughed. But know thine audience.

Of course with a line like that...its all in the delivery.

And sounds like that audience hadn't had a delivery in awhile.

[journeybear]

It's worth noting that the language of comedy includes terms about life and death, mostly death. Succeeding is called "killing," failing is called "dying." I'm not sure if this is related to an underlying serious nature of comedy, or hyperbole, fed by how emotionally invested comedians are in what they do and how exposed they feel when putting themselves out there on stage, open to ridicule. Probably both, probably other reasons as well.

As rosewoodmusic found out, you can think you're killing, but you're actually dying. It's hard to gauge how you're doing in the moment, though you often find out nearly immediately afterward. Comedians have an advantage over people from other disciplines who test these waters less frequently - trial and error helps them fine tune what they do, keeping and refining what works, discarding what doesn't. They learn how to react when an audience or audience member reacts negatively, or not at all, how to turn situations veering into disaster into success, or at least something not so bad. Musicians have the advantage of a really good prop - an instrument, or music itself - which is really distracting, in the best way. It's good to have a really good, never-fail go-to line to hit in case things go south. It may mean making yourself the butt of the joke, but a good bit of self-deprecating humor will often pull yourself out of the hole and help move things along; lingering in a bad spot never helps. Mine is something like: "These are the jokes, folks. That's why I'm a musician, not a comedian," or "Best to leave comedy to the professionals."

[bigskygirl]

I used to think about messing up but not so much anymore, I'm just having fun.

A few weeks ago I was at a local coffee house listening to some acoustic music, the group is very good and I always enjoy their show. Right in the middle of a solo the guitarist hits a wrong note and I'll tell ya, that thing hung out there and everyone knew it. He kept going while one of the band members started laughing and by the end we were all laughing, including the guitarist.

After the song he mentioned how no matter how hard one tries once it out there it's out there so may as well go with it. I learn a lot from performers like this. No one's perfect, just try your best and keep going....and have a good time while doing it.

[Bill Clements]

Comedians have an advantage over people from other disciplines who test these waters less frequently - trial and error helps them fine tune what they do, keeping and refining what works, discarding what doesn't

Some of the funniest comedians like Steve Martin and my favorite, Victor Borge, combined music AND comedy in their acts. Martin infuses hilarity in his show to this day with the Steep Canyon Rangers. Here's a classic clip by Borge who used "mistakes" with surgical-like precision.

[stevedenver]

hey tom
I feel your pain....

I got a bit brave, and went to a big boys jazz jam .....and got pretty much left, was often all I could do to count and follow the chart, no less craft a solo. At times, too, every note I played was simply wrong.....not 'jazz' but Mars. (They expected that as soon as they saw the mando im certain).

I could follow, and comp, barely, provided I had a chart, but couldn't call a single tune that I had committed to memory. Nor was i skilled enough to hear the changes and know where to go.

And I didn't have a prayer at tempo to transpose guitar chords to mando at tempo......

Those guys play solos three times through songs with A, B,C, D parts.
I ran out out of solo ideas the second time through, and realized too, im not quite up to snuff on many jazz chords on mando either, 13s, 9s and sharp 4s-

Going back to the woodshed for about a year I think before I try that level of jam again. Oddly, I wasn't embarrassed, just out of my league.

[Petrus]

Musicians have the advantage of a really good prop - an instrument, or music itself - which is really distracting, in the best way. It's good to have a really good, never-fail go-to line to hit in case things go south. It may mean making yourself the butt of the joke, but a good bit of self-deprecating humor will often pull yourself out of the hole and help move things along; lingering in a bad spot never helps. Mine is something like: "These are the jokes, folks. That's why I'm a musician, not a comedian," or "Best to leave comedy to the professionals."

One I hear occasionally from bar bands (addressed to the whole audience in general) is "the more you drink, the better we sound, folks!" It serves double duty as taking the pressure off the band and getting more drinks sold.

[journeybear]

Man, that IS a corny one! So naturally, I've used it plenty. So much so, that I came up with a follow-up punch line: "It's true; we've taken surveys."



OK, I did say, "Best to leave comedy to the professionals."

[OldSausage]

JB is right, as so often. Unless you are a very good comedian (and I take my hat off to those who are), the audience is only laughing because they are relieved your "joke" is over and they can now stop cringing.

That's if they even are laughing.