Can you play a real song?! Ugh!

[CSIMelissa]

I've been playing/learning for about 14 months and I'm about 3/4 of the way through my lesson book and I think I'm doing fairly well considering the fact that for the past several months I haven't had as much practice time as I would have liked. (I was caring for my mother with cancer and she passed away on 2/5)

Anyway, I've never felt comfortable playing in front of people so I have been some with family members and they always say, "that's great, but can you play a real song?" after I've just played something out of my lesson book. Granted I know they aren't "real" songs, they are just lesson songs the author composed but that's not the point. Just listen to and appreciate what I am playing because to me they are somewhat complicated.... That's certainly not helping my confidence level.

Ok. Sorry. Just venting. Anyone else ever run into that?

[9lbShellhamer]

What's a real song? Congrats on your progress regardless! (and sorry for your loss)

[John Gardinsky]

You gotta have thick skin to be an artist. Let it roll off like water and keep picking.

[Ddd]

I understand what you're going through! I play the mandolin for myself.

(Sorry for your loss)

[avaldes]

Well, if you're not into fiddle tunes or whatever, hearing a mandolin player do a very good rendition of the genre might not sound like a "real song". Sorry for your loss. I'm sure she was grateful for your care.

[rubydubyr]

So sorry for your loss, hun! Just keep with it! Try learning some folk songs that they will recognize, and you will soon see a change in their attitude and comments

[mandroid]

I play melodies from songs and chords, tunes, I dont also sing ..

to play a song, by definition, IMO, you sing them..

Or pass around song Lyrics and let them do that ..

[spufman]

I've always been a bass player and enjoy the roll of laying out the interesting cushion for harmony melody and rhythm to stretch out. So when I started playing mandolin last year, my role as I saw it was similar - help tie together everything else that's going on and enhance the whole. So I literally faced the same retort as you: let me hear a song. Happily, once my brothers and I got going, my approach proved valid. Later on my Mom finally said, "oh, I see what you doing." That felt great.

Very sorry to hear about your Mom. Keep playing and smiling.

[Mandoplumb]

I play in a bluegrass gospel band. Once we had done a short set of standard bluegrass gospel songs when we were asked by someone on the audience to play " something we know so we can see if you are good or not" "Real" songs are different things to different folks and some times they say things without really thinking of how it sounds. They probably enjoined what you did, just keep practiceing and having fun. Sorry about your loss, lost my father a couple years ago and time does heal the hurt to some degree, hang in there.

[Jeff Budz]

Try picking out melodies to well known tunes. People just want to hear something they have heard before. Start with Mary had a Little Lamb, that kind of stuff. It gets easier the more you do it.

[Jackgaryk]

First of all...my condolences to you and your family for your loss. Bet your Mom enjoyed your mandolin playing. As for others, they don't realize that it's a scary thing to play in front of them. I been pickin about a year and have had some wonderful music come from my mandolin when i'm home alone or with my dear and very patient wife. But let some company come over and I start fumbling around and can't remember anything. I have made a song list to help with that. remember...whatever music you make with your mandolin is real.

[Paul South]

Hi Melissa, sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom.

I started about a year ago and from all the song books I was finding I had never heard of any of the fiddle/bluegrass tunes. To play something I or anyone around me would recognize, I started to learn hymns and songs I/people around me knew as kids.

That helped out a lot and listening to tunes on youtube to become familiar with them I am now learning fiddle tunes I never heard of a year ago. Good luck!!!

[Baron Collins-Hill]

I've been playing for over half my life, much of that professionally, and still get that sort of response from people. I think it is a combination of people not immediately being drawn to music that is outside of their frame of reference and not knowing that the way they frame their response doesn't come across as particularly nice or respectful. It becomes very clear once you find yourself in the position of putting your music out in to the world. Don't let it get you down, and keep on playing!

To quote John Hartford - "I got a letter here that says 'Dear sir, I wish that you would sing something I know so that I can tell if you are any good or not' " after which he jumps in to playing this:

[Paul South]

Not to change the subject, but the songs I am now learning are from www.MandoLessons.com. I started just a couple weeks ago and have learned 3 songs I never knew before. Baron Collins-Hill's way of teaching these songs just gets through to me some how.

I pledged onto his sight and really enjoy the lessons, thanks Baron.

[rfloyd]

I sympathize with you, both for the loss of your Mom, and for suffering the comments about your playing. I'm 66 now, and have owned a guitar (or eight) since I was 16, and a mandolin or two for the last 10 years. Because of a lack of discipline, a "tin ear", no inherent musical talent, and the inability carry a tune, etc, I have never gotten very proficient on either instrument. I still tremendously enjoy my involvement with instruments, and the added dimension it brings to my overall enjoyment of music of many types.

It sounds like you are succeeding in a more structured approach. You have to keep in mind that people who have never tried to play an instrument just don't understand.

Something I heard years ago sums it up for me: "I play for my own amazement"

Good luck with your progress, and I'll bet in another year you won't be hearing that kind of comment.

[farmerjones]

I am the master of the quick & dirty pay-off.
Follow the lesson tab/link here to "two finger chords."
Then go to Drbanjo.com and look for the list of two chord songs.
I trust there will be something you recognize.
The sooner you start to play "real" music, the sooner you will feel better about yourself, and that's what we need to do every now and again. My mantra: "Let your self win every now and then." The more you let yourself win, the better you feel, and that's a good thing! Eventually you'll get bored with simplicity, then natural curiosity will take you to new places, and that's the good too.

Prayers to you

[Timbofood]

It's not your fault that they don't know the songs you're playing and they are completely real! They will learn or they will not, most of my family doesn't get what I play at all, their loss.
My mother passed almost three years ago now, still feel it every day, just like my brother from almost thirty years ago, and my dad from about twenty. When my brother died, my wife imparted a great bit of knowledge:
"It doesn't get better just, different." It's the only way I can accept the loss, I feel for you kiddo!
Now go play something real for your mother and yourself!

[journeybear]

I'm saddened to hear your mom passed. I know that was hard on you, and was for a long time. But now she's at peace, and soon you will be, too. She will always be in your heart, and her spirit will guide you on your way. You'll be surprised how she will still help you. My mom does this for me, too.

Take those comments with a grain or two of salt. They are coming from people who don't understand what you have been going through nor what it takes to learn to play an instrument. Someday they'll get it, hopefully. Meanwhile, take what you've learned so far and apply it to songs you know. There are lots of simple songs out there that are fun to play, not hard to learn, and easy for people to recognize. Lots of Christmas songs fit the bill - and that's part of why they are so popular. Lots of folk songs are, too, for the same reason. There was a thread not long ago in which member Amanda Lynn posted about what her students were doing, and asked for song suggestions. There are a lot of good ideas there.

You've got a couple of snow days. Brew a pot of tea, make yourself comfortable, sit down with your mandolin, and work up a song or two, or three. Get them to the point where they are really comfortable for you, where they are memorized and effortless. And only after you are confident to the point where you can pick up the mandolin after doing something else and play them right away with no problem should you play them in front of others. You want to be able to impress them immediately. And don't let them demoralize you. People have no idea how hurtful an offhand comment can be. You want to be able to look them in the eye and tell them you know what you're doing (maybe not out loud), and know you've got what it takes. Once you get a few of these under your belt you'll soon get more, and more, and it will get easier and easier.

Good luck with this, and with everything. Hang in there! It will get better. And we're here for you.

[Timbofood]

+1 on Christmas carols! They are excellent finger exercises and you know them, just have to teach your fingers where to go!
Good call JB!

[DavidKOS]

It's not your fault that they don't know the songs you're playing and they are completely real!

So welcome to the world of playing in public.

You want the audience to like your playing? Play something they know.

The music in your method may be very well written and lovely - but if the people you play for don't know it, you are almost wasting your time unless you win them over with a familiar tune or two or twenty.

Keep playing!

[bigskygirl]

Very sorry for your loss, my mom's been gone two years now and dad almost 6 and it does not get easier, you just learn to live with it...

As for the critics, ignore them. Everyone has their own definition of music, did they at least know it was a mandolin and not a ukulele? My friends wouldn't know a fiddle tune if I channeled Bill Monroe himself so I don't worry about it. They ask me to play something I play something and they clap....I have them trained....

[Bill Snyder]

I play melodies from songs and chords, tunes, I dont also sing ..

to play a song, by definition, IMO, you sing them..

Or pass around song Lyrics and let them do that ..

Mandroid, would you have a copy of the lyrics to the Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture handy or perhaps Bach's Brandenburg Concerto #3? If so I would appreciate a copy. I haven't been able to find a copy anywhere.

[CSIMelissa]

Thanks to all for your kind words on the loss of my mom. She was only 64 and though I'm nearly 38 she was my best friend so honestly, I've been feeling lost. Haven't felt like playing but I'm getting back into it.

I know I have a long way to go with my playing and realistically, my father doesn't know anything about mandolin music (and my brother doesn't like it no matter what I play) so I'm just going to keep on keeping on with the songs in my lesson book BUT I do like the suggestion of some Christmas songs. I can put up with my mediocrity now because I know one day I'll be a LOT better. LOL

[journeybear]

Generally speaking, a song by definition does include words. But you can play the melody of a song instrumentally, and this is what is colloquially called "playing a song." Focus, please, gentlemen. Let's not get sidetracked by semantics.

Now, if someone could play an orchestral piece by Tchaikovsky or Bach singlehandedly on one instrument, that would be most impressive indeed, and that would silence the critics for a good long time. Provided they recognized the piece, of course. Better approach is to play something they'll know. In this case, Melissa, perhaps you could learn the state song, "My Old Kentucky Home." That should keep you busy for a while.

[Nashville]

They don't understand. I doubt if it was a mean comment. Non-musicians often only respond to a melody they are familiar with. And they don't understand the hard work you are committed to. But if you want to please them, maybe you can find a simple song they will recognize and take a small break from your lesson book to learn it. Otherwise you will need that "thick skin" which is a skill in itself.