Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 183

Thread: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

  1. #26

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	2703 
Size:	44.5 KB 
ID:	133835

  2. #27

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	1271 
Size:	58.3 KB 
ID:	133836

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Richard58 For This Useful Post:


  4. #28
    Registered User John Garcia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    200

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    One of my favorite Far Side comics:

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	banjo.jpg 
Views:	2773 
Size:	47.0 KB 
ID:	133838
    AKA "golfunit"

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to John Garcia For This Useful Post:


  6. #29

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Why are there no banjos on Star Wars? Duh, it's the future.

    What do you get when a banjo player sees his shadow? 6 more weeks of Foggy Mtn Breakdown.
    2010 Heiden A5, 2020 Pomeroy oval A, 2013 Kentucky KM1000 F5, 2012 Girouard A Mandola w ff holes, 2001 Old Wave A oval octave
    http://HillbillyChamberMusic.bandcamp.com
    Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@hillbillychambermusic

  7. #30
    Registered User T.D.Nydn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Upstate N.Y.
    Posts
    1,331

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    I don't appreciate some of these comments someone calling me a clown fish? Just because you didn't get what I was trying to say?go ahead,turn on your own,I have almost 50 years on the mandolin.zen master,perhaps,I am a okuden level(high position) Japanese swordsman among other things,,but I don't play the banjo......

  8. #31

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by John Garcia View Post
    One of my favorite Far Side comics:

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	banjo.jpg 
Views:	2773 
Size:	47.0 KB 
ID:	133838
    Indeed. If one is mean in life, one is handed a banjer at the gates of Haties.
    But if one is truly despicable, they hand you a Banguitar.

  9. The following members say thank you to farmerjones for this post:


  10. #32

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    I like the one that was going around,,,what did the mandolin player do ,standing by the river minding their own business ,when a banjo player walks up and hands you their banjo?
    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    Well,i tried to tie it in with that thread about the "banjo throwing competition" in the Hudson river,,,but I guess a lot of people didn't read that,,or get it or whatever.
    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    I don't appreciate some of these comments someone calling me a clown fish? Just because you didn't get what I was trying to say?go ahead,turn on your own,I have almost 50 years on the mandolin.zen master,perhaps,I am a okuden level(high position) Japanese swordsman among other things,,but I don't play the banjo......
    Hey T.D., I don't think anyone was trying to hurt your feelings. I gotta say though, that I'm among the ones that don't get the joke.
    Your first post sounded like a riddle, the 'question' part of a joke.

    I'll admit that I'm not familiar with any Hudson River Banjo Throwing Contest. I'd still like to know the 'answer' part of the joke, even if I don't know the whole context.

    So...what's the punchline? "I guess ya had to be there."?

  11. #33
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Northeastern South Carolina, west of North Carolina
    Posts
    15,346
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by Don Grieser View Post
    Why are there no banjos on Star Wars? Duh, it's the future.
    Well, then, the future is now. We have this guy busking here. Yes, it has lights built in. Pretty scary!

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Darth Vader Banjo.jpg 
Views:	307 
Size:	252.2 KB 
ID:	133839

    T.D., some of those comments were guesses at a punch line, or attempts to understand what you were trying to say. The key phrase is "trying to say," which you yourself used. No try - do. You should know that if you have to explain a joke, it isn't very funny, or at best, it just isn't working. I've read your post several times, and it makes no sense to me. I suggest you rewrite it to make it clearer. Not trying to bust 'em, just trying to understand. Hey - we've got standards. They're pretty low, but we've got 'em.

    PS: Here's the story about the banjo throwing contest. It was into a canal, not the Hudson, by the way. There are laws protecting the river from pollution.
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

    Furthering Mandolin Consciousness

    Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!

  12. #34
    bon vivant jaycat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Boston, Mass.
    Posts
    2,775

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    . . . I have almost 50 years on the mandolin......
    That's a long sentence. Have you put in for parole?
    "The paths of experimentation twist and turn through mountains of miscalculations, and often lose themselves in error and darkness!"
    --Leslie Daniel, "The Brain That Wouldn't Die."

    Some tunes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa1...SV2qtug/videos

  13. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to jaycat For This Useful Post:


  14. #35
    Registered User Fred Keller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Sandstone, MN
    Posts
    779

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    This one here is one of my faves, not only because it's funny but because you can really draw it out if you need to

    A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher: "How much for fiddle player brain?"
    "2 dollars an ounce."
    "How much for mandolin player brain?"
    "3 dollars an ounce."
    "How much for guitar player brain?"
    "4 dollars an ounce."
    "How much for banjo player brain?"
    "100 dollars an ounce."
    "Why is banjo player brain so much more?"
    "Do you know how many banjo players you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
    Lost on the trails of The Deep North

  15. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Fred Keller For This Useful Post:


  16. #36
    Registered User T.D.Nydn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Upstate N.Y.
    Posts
    1,331

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Telling jokes is not my forte.Ive never been very good at it for some reason.my stand up career did not last very long at all ,so can we just move on....

  17. #37
    Registered User Petrus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    2,623

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    I am a okuden level(high position) Japanese swordsman among other things,,
    Umm ... then I respectfully take back my jibe! We don't want any trouble here. I need my head ... it's got my ears on it!

  18. #38
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    atlanta ga
    Posts
    485

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    I don't appreciate some of these comments someone calling me a clown fish? Just because you didn't get what I was trying to say?go ahead,turn on your own,I have almost 50 years on the mandolin.zen master,perhaps,I am a okuden level(high position) Japanese swordsman among other things,,but I don't play the banjo......

    I apologize. It was a movie reference. It was probably lost on anyone who did not have kids in the last 10 years.


  19. #39
    Registered User Petrus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    2,623

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Steve Martin (banjo player and author, btw) used to do a bit back in his early stand-up comedy days where he'd take his act out into the street and do impromptu material on whoever happened to be passing by. The audience would follow him out of the club and tag along. Unfortunately as he became more popular it got to be unwieldy and unsafe but no one would believe him when he told them the show was over. They thought it was just part of the act. "Really, it's over, you can go home now!" But they'd keep following him! It was hilarious and took him quite a while to drop that bit from his act.

  20. #40
    Registered User Toni Schula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Vienna, Europe
    Posts
    545

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    A man comes to a pawn shop in San Francisco just to look around for interesting things. In the end he's been sold a dead rat. So he throws that dead rat over his shoulder and walks down the street. After a while he detects that a rat is following him. Then a second rat, then a third. From all the streets more and more rats come to follow him. So he gets frightened and starts to run. All the rats run after him. He comes down to Fisherman's Warf and throws the dead rat into the sea. All the other rats jump afterwards into the sea and drown. He hurries back to the pawn shop and shouts 'Do you have any banjos here?'

  21. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Toni Schula For This Useful Post:


  22. #41

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by Don Grieser View Post
    Why are there no banjos on Star Wars? Duh, it's the future.
    You have to be careful with this one. The punchline needs to reference Star Trek instead since, as all banjo pickers know, Star Wars is set "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wa...ning_crawl.jpg

    Although, Star Trek: Voyager does contain a very subtle (though non-funny) joke actually made by picking a banjo:

    http://www.banjohangout.org/blog/27408

  23. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to OldSausage For This Useful Post:


  24. #42

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    why is it called a toothbrush instead of a teeth brush?
    because a banjo player invented it.

  25. The following members say thank you to stevedenver for this post:


  26. #43
    Lost my boots in transit terzinator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    Posts
    1,589

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by Petrus View Post
    Banjo player: I've got a great knock-knock joke!
    Mando player: Let's hear it!
    Banjo player: You start.
    I kind of like this one.

  27. #44
    Registered User DavidKOS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    North CA
    Posts
    5,020

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by OldSausage View Post
    You have to be careful with this one. The punchline needs to reference Star Trek instead since, as all banjo pickers know, Star Wars is set "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wa...ning_crawl.jpg

    Although, Star Trek: Voyager does contain a very subtle (though non-funny) joke actually made by picking a banjo:

    http://www.banjohangout.org/blog/27408
    Thanks for pointing that out.

  28. #45
    Innocent Bystander JeffD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    24,807
    Blog Entries
    56

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by AlanN View Post
    I absolutely don't get this.
    Most people worry about their possessions being stolen. Banjos are so horrible that you instead worry about random people giving you a banjo.

    Its like the accordion player who stopped at a diner, leaving his accordion in the trunk of his car, and after dinner when he came out, yep, he found his car had been broken into and seven more accordions were in there.
    A talent for trivializin' the momentous and complicatin' the obvious.

    The entire staff
    funny....

  29. #46
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Northeastern South Carolina, west of North Carolina
    Posts
    15,346
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Welll ... I heard this as a banjo joke. And it's in the back seat, not the trunk, so it can be seen and thus incite the desired reaction from other banjo owners. No one would know it was in the trunk - well, if it got real hot in there and it were an accordion and it somehow started wheezing ...

    But have it your way ...
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

    Furthering Mandolin Consciousness

    Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!

  30. #47
    Registered User Bill Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    7,316

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    WOW! JB is getting more pedantic than I am.
    Bill Snyder

  31. The following members say thank you to Bill Snyder for this post:


  32. #48
    Professional Dreamer journeybear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Northeastern South Carolina, west of North Carolina
    Posts
    15,346
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Didn't know it was a competition. I'll step aside. It's all yours.

    But a joke has to make a certain amount of sense. The less head-scratching on the part of the audience, the better.
    But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller

    Furthering Mandolin Consciousness

    Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!

  33. #49
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Norfolk, VA
    Posts
    800

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    I like the one that was going around,,,what did the mandolin player do ,standing by the river minding their own business ,when a banjo player walks up and hands you their banjo?
    The mandolin player rightly assumes that the banjo player has to pee and needs both of his hands free.

  34. The following members say thank you to Hudmister for this post:


  35. #50
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NEW YORK CITY
    Posts
    191

    Default Re: Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

    Quote Originally Posted by T.D.Savant View Post
    I don't appreciate some of these comments someone calling me a clown fish? Just because you didn't get what I was trying to say?go ahead,turn on your own,I have almost 50 years on the mandolin.zen master,perhaps,I am a okuden level(high position) Japanese swordsman among other things,,but I don't play the banjo......
    Chill T.D. - Nobody's perfect.............
    James

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •