But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller
Furthering Mandolin Consciousness
Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!
A man is standing on the edge of a very tall building when this banjo player comes along. The man on the edge says "Watch this!" and jumps off the roof -he falls 10 feet and suddenly floats back up and lands back up on the roof. "There's this incredible up draft here you should try this it's really fun!" He has to demonstrate the effect about a half dozen times before the banjo player gives it a try and he immediately falls 50 stories to the pavement! A couple of winos are sitting at a door way down on the street. "There he goes again, that Superman sure does hate them banjo players!"
Paddle faster... I can hear banjos...
Why did the Zen master study the banjo?
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You have to work it out for yourself.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a banjo? It's lots more fun to jump on the banjo.
A couple of mandolins
A couple guitars
An Upright Bass
Some banjos
Wax Paper over a comb
A Loar era Didjeridoo
"I Never Wanted To Be A Barber. I Always Wanted To Be A Lumberjack !"
Here is the complete list of 271 banjo jokes:
http://bluegrassbanjo.org/banjokes.html
I'm sure these are in the list that OS posted, just didn't want to do the whole read:
1. What do you call a good-looking lady walking down the street on the arm of a banjo player?
A tatoo
2. What do you call a banjo player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless
1994 Gibson F5L - Weber signed
"Mandolin brands are a guide, not gospel! I don't drink koolaid and that Emperor is naked!"
"If you wanna get soul Baby, you gots to get the scroll..."
"I would rather play music anyday for the beggar, the thief, and the fool!"
"Perfection is not attainable; but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence" Vince Lombardi
Playing Style: RockMonRoll Desperado Bluegrass Desperado YT Channel
I've actually heard this one replaced with "guitar player." It's more a joke about the rock musician's lifestyle than the instrument itself. (Like how the guitar used to be called the "starvation box" in some local parlance.)
BTW, for lurking banjophiles, be aware that many of the jokes in this thread can substitute "accordion," "bagpipes," and/or "viola" and have the same effect.
BTBTW ... I finally finished building that minstrel banjo kit I sent away for. It looks nice but it really is extremely soft. I restrung the nylon strings with steel but it's still pretty quiet. I think I don't have enough tension in the head or something.
Definitely soft in the head...
I'd like to make it clear, I didn't actually read the list I posted, and I would advise you to do the same.
I thought so! The International Banjo Joke Certification Society only lists 132 jokes on its canonical list. (Then again they have very little tolerance for "multi-use" jokes which can be made to work with other instruments, which would greatly pad the list; this was a source of such controversy of course it resulted in a split a few years back and the creation of the Association of Banjo Jokes, which is much broader in its interpretation.)
Some more visual ones:
then of course you heard about the banjo player that thought KY jelly was a marmalade from Kentucky........
I'm afraid there's nothin' new here... Move along, folks...
Yeah, this season's crop of jokes isn't quite up to our usual low standards.
But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. - Dennis Miller
Furthering Mandolin Consciousness
Finders Keepers, my duo with the astoundingly talented and versatile Patti Rothberg. Our EP is finally done, and available! PM me, while they last!
I like the one in the middle of John Flynn's post. Back in the late 1960's i was repairing banjos, & at one time i had 14 of the critters in my bedroom,
Ivan
Weber F-5 'Fern'.
Lebeda F-5 "Special".
Stelling Bellflower BANJO
Tokai - 'Tele-alike'.
Ellis DeLuxe "A" style.
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