Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

[journeybear]

The mandolin player rightly assumes that the banjo player has to pee and needs both of his hands free.

Reckon that'll do alright.

[barney 59]

A man is standing on the edge of a very tall building when this banjo player comes along. The man on the edge says "Watch this!" and jumps off the roof -he falls 10 feet and suddenly floats back up and lands back up on the roof. "There's this incredible up draft here you should try this it's really fun!" He has to demonstrate the effect about a half dozen times before the banjo player gives it a try and he immediately falls 50 stories to the pavement! A couple of winos are sitting at a door way down on the street. "There he goes again, that Superman sure does hate them banjo players!"

[Eddie Sheehy]

Paddle faster... I can hear banjos...

[journeybear]

Yep!

[Gan Ainm]

Why did the Zen master study the banjo?
.
.
.
.
.



You have to work it out for yourself.

[Gutbucket]

What's the difference between a trampoline and a banjo? It's lots more fun to jump on the banjo.

[OldSausage]

Here is the complete list of 271 banjo jokes:

http://bluegrassbanjo.org/banjokes.html

[DataNick]

I'm sure these are in the list that OS posted, just didn't want to do the whole read:

1. What do you call a good-looking lady walking down the street on the arm of a banjo player?
A tatoo

2. What do you call a banjo player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless

[Petrus]

2. What do you call a banjo player who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless

I've actually heard this one replaced with "guitar player." It's more a joke about the rock musician's lifestyle than the instrument itself. (Like how the guitar used to be called the "starvation box" in some local parlance.)

BTW, for lurking banjophiles, be aware that many of the jokes in this thread can substitute "accordion," "bagpipes," and/or "viola" and have the same effect.

BTBTW ... I finally finished building that minstrel banjo kit I sent away for. It looks nice but it really is extremely soft. I restrung the nylon strings with steel but it's still pretty quiet. I think I don't have enough tension in the head or something.

[Eddie Sheehy]

Definitely soft in the head...

[OldSausage]

I'd like to make it clear, I didn't actually read the list I posted, and I would advise you to do the same.

[chuck3]

I like the one that was going around,,,what did the mandolin player do ,standing by the river minding their own business ,when a banjo player walks up and hands you their banjo?

The mandolin player said "I understand ... it's over ... it's OK."

[Petrus]

Definitely soft in the head...

Lulz. Didn't catch that! I stepped in that one.

[Ivan Kelsall]

I like this one,
Ivan

[Petrus]

I'd like to make it clear, I didn't actually read the list I posted, and I would advise you to do the same.

I thought so! The International Banjo Joke Certification Society only lists 132 jokes on its canonical list. (Then again they have very little tolerance for "multi-use" jokes which can be made to work with other instruments, which would greatly pad the list; this was a source of such controversy of course it resulted in a split a few years back and the creation of the Association of Banjo Jokes, which is much broader in its interpretation.)

[John Flynn]

Some more visual ones:

[DavidKOS]

I've actually heard this one replaced with "guitar player." It's more a joke about the rock musician's lifestyle than the instrument itself.
.

I heard that as a drummer joke first.

[stevedenver]

then of course you heard about the banjo player that thought KY jelly was a marmalade from Kentucky........

[Eddie Sheehy]

I'm afraid there's nothin' new here... Move along, folks...

[journeybear]

Yeah, this season's crop of jokes isn't quite up to our usual low standards.

[zedmando]

I've actually heard this one replaced with "guitar player." It's more a joke about the rock musician's lifestyle than the instrument itself. (Like how the guitar used to be called the "starvation box" in some local parlance.)

BTW, for lurking banjophiles, be aware that many of the jokes in this thread can substitute "accordion," "bagpipes," and/or "viola" and have the same effect.

You can substitute any instrument in most of these jokes--but they're still funny.

[Colin Lindsay]

You can substitute any instrument in most of these jokes--but they're still funny.

Excepting the hurdy-gurdy, which isn’t funny under any circumstances.
In my house, it’s excruciating.

[Ivan Kelsall]

I like the one in the middle of John Flynn's post. Back in the late 1960's i was repairing banjos, & at one time i had 14 of the critters in my bedroom,
Ivan

[Petrus]

Excepting the hurdy-gurdy, which isn’t funny under any circumstances. In my house, it’s excruciating.

Well you've never heard Matthias Loibner I guess! Or Le Vent du Nord!

[Petrus]

I'm afraid there's nothin' new here... Move along, folks...

Ironically, many of us (incl. me) like the banjo. I've been listening to Fleck's Bach album constantly for days now.