Best Banjo joke I've heard in a while

[sblock]

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an Uzzi submachine gun?
A: The Uzzi only repeats 40 times.

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and a chainsaw?
A: A chainsaw has dynamic range.

Q: What's the difference between a banjo and a Harley?
A: You can tune a Harley.

[JeffD]

I was surprised and delighted by this quip I heard at a camp ground. It was not a festival, just a nice camp ground near a large national forest. I was camping for two days, and of course had my mandolin with me.

Woman next campsite over saw me, and took out her banjo. We did not see eye to eye musically, but there was enough overlap that we had a great great time. (Some sour mash whisky seemed to increase the areas of overlapping musical tastes.)

Anyway, she told me some one of her friends once asked her why she played the banjo, and she said "It don't play itself. There's a lot of banjos out there just stacking up, waiting for players. Its becoming quite a crisis."

[farmerjones]

Anyway, she told me some one of her friends once asked her why she played the banjo, and she said "It don't play itself. There's a lot of banjos out there just stacking up, waiting for players. Its becoming quite a crisis."

Where's the emoticon of a head exploding?

I guess I deserve this. Earlier, I stole Dean Martin's quote: "This martini isn't going to drink itself."

[mandroid]

The Pied Piper has just succeeded in having every bit of Vermin mesmerized and following him
until they all drowned , in the river ..

so when He came back, from that triumph , the Mayor asked him to Please do that again,
and handed him a Banjo.

[Ted Eschliman]

Q: Why do coroners dislike identifying dead banjo players?
A: No teeth. Also all their DNA is the same.

[JeffD]

We will miss the music and humor of Joe Bethancourt.

http://www.whitetreeaz.com/vintage/vicious.htm

[Emmett Marshall]

We will miss the music and humor of Joe Bethancourt.

http://www.whitetreeaz.com/vintage/vicious.htm

This is the first time I've seen that. Had me in stitches. His nostalgic writing style, use of images, etc are really cool. Thanks.

[HonketyHank]

His whole site is well worth perusing. I have stolen many images and stories from it. And I have found that Banjo Salve can soothe the wounds that result from yielding to urges to try a little drop thumb on the mandolin.

[JeffD]

His whole site is well worth perusing. I have stolen many images and stories from it. And I have found that Banjo Salve can soothe the wounds that result from yielding to urges to try a little drop thumb on the mandolin.

And it is a housecat lubricant after all.

[drkix]

What is worse than finding out your wife is having an affair?

Finding banjo strings under the bed.

Kit

[f5loar]

Because North Carolina is known for having more banjo pickers than any other State in the Union, last year they passed a law that if a banjo picker places their banjo on the dashboard of their pick-up truck, they may park in a handicap space.

[JeffD]

This is not a joke necessarily, but a phrase I heard.

"He's so old he doesn't know if he is playing a banjo or stacking chord wood."

[Mr5150]

[Bill Snyder]

Obviously everyone is not reading through all of the old posts. Several of these are being repeated a time or three or five.

[colorado_al]

Several of these are being repeated a time or three or five.

That's for all the banjo players who are reading along...

[Astro]

"Several of these are being repeated a time or three or five."

That's for all the banjo players who are reading along...

That wont work. You're going to need pictures.

[colorado_al]

That wont work. You're going to need pictures.

Right! And pictures to explain those pictures!

[Bertram Henze]

Right! And pictures to explain those pictures!

In fact that's how the Chinese would do it

[Dave Hanson]

Daddy when I grow up I want to be a banjo player.

Maker your mind up son.

Dave H

[lmfca]

Definition of perfect pitch: When the banjo doesn't hit the side of the Demster Dumpster

Now wait a minute, perfect pitch is when you toss the banjo into the dumpster and smash the accordion.

[Br1ck]

I like the one that was going around,,,what did the mandolin player do ,standing by the river minding their own business ,when a banjo player walks up and hands you their banjo?

Pan for gold.

[Bill McCall]

Banjos come in travelite cases so you don't hurt your back when you throw them over a cliff. That might be a perfect pitch as well.

[Louise NM]

What's the difference between a banjo and a chainsaw?

You can use the chainsaw in a bluegrass band if you really have to.

Why don't bluegrass bands take more than 20 minute breaks?

They don't want to have to re-train the banjo player.

[Louise NM]

The difference between a banjo player and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.

[MontanaMatt]

What's the difference between a banjo and a harmonica...
Only half the harmonica notes suck.

How are they alike...they both have drool on them.