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Thread: Afraid to play for others - advice?

  1. #101
    Yarrr! Miss Lonelyhearts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    "... the music plays the instrument, and the music is you."
    Well put! I tend to think of this as "we play music with our brains--the instrument is just the mechanical part that lets the music ricochet around the room." But I might steal your version.
    Oops! Did I say that out loud?
    Once upon a time: fiddle, mandolin, OM, banjo, guitar, flute, whistle, beer

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  3. #102
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    The only way to get over this is to play in front of others ! Perhaps sit in the back until you feel more comfortable . I was in the same situation but have finally conquered this -------------------well, most of the time !

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    Gypsy 

  5. #103

    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Lonelyhearts View Post
    "... the music plays the instrument, and the music is you."
    Quote Originally Posted by farmerjones View Post
    "...I will play it as a small gift."
    I heard something the other night - perhaps it's a common adage: the minute you expect something from music - you expect too much

    I was extremely neurotic WRT to performing for years - bound-up in perfectionisms (with my Bach repertoire), ego, inhibitions, etc. This wasn't working. It took several tactical changes before I would become a competent performer: changes in instrument, repertoire, approach...and through these, a journey/study with music that ultimately enabled me to reinvent my experience with music and performing. For brevity - foregoing all the details of my personal transitions, I came to a 'simpler' approach WRT performing - which I experience, now, as essentially giving. Sounds hokey and all - but something happened that cleared out a ton of baggage, and allows me to attend to music, audience, and myself. Of course I'm not playing big rooms or high-pressure audiences.. I guess it's like: coming to a place where the music lives (as articulated above by MissLH-). Ego stuff - music is too precious for that. It's hard not to get all evangelical about it - but there are some very fundamental aspects to it all -

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  7. #104
    Gypsy Mandola Gypsy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Emmett Marshall... loving the video lol
    “ A Broken Heart can be a Painfully Beautiful thing for a Songwriter “
    ~Shari Windsor

  8. #105

    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    In the early 90s I got back into playing a lot with other players. I found a very supportive jam session in my area, one that had a slow jam in the afternoon for beginners to the music, and after a potluck dinner break, had bands, ad-hoc and established, get up for two songs each, with a 'fast' jam afterwards. See if you can't find a jam like this in your area. Other musicians will likely know of it.

    Butch Baldisarri had a good point when I took some lessons from him, which was that when he started out, he focused on memorizing one tune per month, so he had a new song to play at each month's jam sessions. In a year, he had a dozen songs he could play well, and could call it when it was his turn. I think many of us do this, but it was good to hear it from someone of his level. (RIP Butch).

    So the point of being very comfortable with your repetoire should really help you get over your fear, which most of us have.

    And I agree with the statement that you should play with people, and not worry about playing for them. When I am at some place and someone asks me to 'play us a song', that's when having your repetoire solidly in your head will get you through.

    Relax and enjoy. You live in a part of the country that you should be able to learn some fabulous bluegrass, if that's your thing.
    Al in PT

  9. #106
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Not to sound uncivilized here.. but get drunk (or buzzed). Practice a tune til you know it down pat, then get some liquid encouragement and let it rip in front of a crowd. Not to encourage alcohol dependence or anything, but it definitely showed me how easy performing is, and now performing is a high of its own for me (of course, having a pint with me is fantastic too)


    Just my two cents....
    ~Henry Clark

  10. #107
    Gummy Bears and Scotch BrianWilliam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Don't get me wrong, I love scotch.

    But, my skill is an inverse relation to the amount of booze in my system. That's just IME and all.

  11. #108

    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by BrianWilliam View Post
    But, my skill is an inverse relation to the amount of booze in my system.
    While I certainly do not disagree, you CAN prioritize how important the playing environment is to you, especially considering if there's money involved, which implies an obligation to the audience. It's better to maintain your sobriety when playing for an audience especially if you're getting paid. If you're just jamming with some friends and drinking a few beers (as we do on Saturday afternoons) the group dynamics will be your guide.

    Len B.
    Clearwater, FL

  12. #109
    Gummy Bears and Scotch BrianWilliam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    True, I like beers too!

  13. #110

    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Me too. I'm really liking New Belgium "Rampant" Imperial IPA 8.5% abv. Mighty fine brew!!!

    Len B.
    Clearwater, FL

  14. #111
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Practice, practice, and then practice. Just watched Sierra Hull burn up the fretboard of
    an octave mandolin playing Old Dangerfield. I shall never again complain about big fingers, small frets, high strings., etc.
    Practice, practice, practice..........And smile !! Sooner or later.....................

  15. #112
    but that's just me Bertram Henze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    I have my reservations about the beer thing... it helps you to detach from the situation and can lower anxiety but it also deprives you of the full impact of the experience, which I deem an essential part of life. Did you do the gig, or did you just survive it? If you were not all there, can you be proud?
    the world is better off without bad ideas, good ideas are better off without the world

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  17. #113
    Mindin' my own bizness BJ O'Day's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by BrianWilliam View Post
    But, my skill is an inverse relation to the amount of booze in my system.
    Yes,
    1 beer and I relax, 2 beers and I fumble.
    BJ

  18. #114
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    Default Re: Afraid to play for others - advice?

    I found playing Irish music jams was helpful [even though its not really what I do now].
    There are jam sessions which are great for building confidence. You listen hard the
    first time through and try to map the tune in your head. Then try to play the basic
    melody. Its a great confidence builder. A mandolin would always be welcome in an
    amateur performing group. Everyone will be playing the same melody...

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