Re: I have been playing wrong all my life
I'm concerned we're talking about the OP's pick grip technique in terms of "right" and "wrong," since he went through unnecessary anguish about being different. Probably it's because of the video referenced earlier, where a famous player said "there's pretty much just one way to hold the pick."
Our mando-world is much larger than just one famous player. There are other technical traditions in which the OP's way of holding the pick is considered the "normal" way, and as others have pointed out there are also the outliers closer to us who use what is (to us) unconventional technique. To tap our real potential, it helps to be aware of how other players might use technique differently -- and what that suggests about the choices we might make.
The pick grip question came up again yesterday in a bluegrass master class, here at the Joe Val Bluegrass Festival. Everyone in the class was obviously there to work on bluegrass, but not everyone used the "standard" pick grip (pick on side of index finger). One guy played really well with a "non-standard" pick grip (pick on pad of index finger), so I didn't ask him to change -- instead I just brought up the conversation about how most bluegrass players hold the pick the other way, and the reasons he might (or might not) considering switching. There was also a less-experienced player with the "non-standard" pick grip, and for that person I was a little stronger in recommending a switch to the "standard" grip. I think that, armed with a better understanding of how things are usually done, adult learners are better off making their own decisions about which road to take.
Which is not to say that anything goes. There was one class member who had a fair amount of thumb wiggle going on, and it seemed like this was not adding anything, and was reducing his potential sound. So in that case I did make a strong recommendation about changing technique.
I remember my late colleague John McGann once wrote: "There's more than one right way to play the mandolin. But there are even more wrong ways." I suppose that the difference will always remain subjective, and a source of debate. But that's one reason we're here, right?
Exploring Classical Mandolin (Berklee Press, 2015)
Progressive Melodies for Mandocello (KDP, 2019) (2nd ed. 2022)
New Solos for Classical Mandolin (Hal Leonard Press, 2020)
2021 guest artist, mandocello: Classical Mandolin Society of America
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