Jamming nerves!

[magicgalexy]

Hey all!

I've been playing mandolin for about 2 1/2 years now, doing lessons for a lot of that time, and going to as many jams as I can. But unfortunately, where I live, there aren't many jams at all, they're more like an occasional treat than a regular thing where I can practise and get used to them.

I know that the best way to improve my soloing with other people (as my rhythm's fairly solid by now), and to learn how to improvise breaks (my main goal at the moment) is to just get in there and get playing with people, so I do. But playing with people who are much better than me often makes me really nervous, or playing at a speed I'm not used to throws me off, and so I rarely end up with a break I'm happy with. I laugh it off, but it does really knock my confidence - I'm starting to worry that I'm never going to reach the level I want to be at!

Have you guys got any tips for playing through the nerves, or things I could be doing on my own to improve my playing in jams?

Thanks in advance, I'm pretty new here (or at least new to posting!) so any advice you can give will be appreciated! Cheers!

[Mark Wilson]

Backing tracks are the closest thing to do-it-yourself jam practice for me. That and plenty of reps.

Do your best to network and find a guitar player that you can jam with on the side. There's no substitute for playing with others.

As far as nerves - I'm at 3 years and playing with a small jam group since last August. Played at a new-for-me jam the other week and first break I almost lost my pick from nerves.

But it gets better every time out. Albeit slowly

[JeffD]

I have been jamming for a bazzilion years and I still get nervous, have to talk myself into overcoming nervous lethargy and get up and going to the jam, and then get all befuddled taking a break. I still get very nervous going into a new jam with new people, or when new people show up at the jam I am otherwise familiar with.

In my case the nerves don't go away. I just don't let it inhibit me. Nervous is a feeling, not a demand for action. Or something like that.

[Kennedyland]

I've been playing in jams for almost 9 years and every time I get in my car, and drive to a jam, I have this voice in my head saying, "This isn't going to work. You should just go home and try again next week." In the past, I listened to that voice - a mistake- and I didn't even bother to get into my car. Hence, I risked nothing and subsequently, gained nothing. I've learned to blow that voice off. Now, every time I play in a jam I have a good experience, and every time I play in a jam I completely mess it up. So what? It's just fun! i've learned to simply laugh it off. I know each time I play in a jam, I'm a little better than I was in the previous jam, and I'm always going to be growing and changing as I play. I played mandolin for a couple of years, gave up, and now - four years after I quit - I took it up again. I bought the book, "Mandolin for Dummies" and learned I'd been fingering a mandolin like a guitar! I was completely wrong on how I played it! Now, five weeks later I'm having a great time. I practice every day, I do my best, I screw up, and I just keep it rolling. Yesterday, I soloed for the first time on a mandolin in a jam. I have no idea whether I impressed my fellow musicians, or looked like some rookie with a serious attitude problem, but I had a great time trying. So, go for it. No harm in putting yourself out there. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

[Bill McCall]

Read Pete Wernick's article on nerves at dr.banjo.com. He's been a pro for 45+ years and he still gets a bit nervous. One of the guys in a jam I attend wrote a tune "I made a mistake while taking my break and nobody likes me anymore." We all love it since we've got a little while before the recording session

It gets easier. Dare to suck.

[yankees1]

The more you play with others and in front of others this anxiety will eventually diminish ! It took me a long time and I even sipped wine that was hidden in my case to relax me !! No wine now and I finally feel relaxed in front of people ! Just keep playing with others and you finally will become relaxed !

[JeffD]

My experience is that the anxiety didn't go away, or diminish really, but it kind of morphed into a kind of excitement. I get excited going to a jam, which feels pretty close to if not exactly like anxiety.

[Beanzy]

Practice humming breaks between tunes you know & like. For invention it's not about the instrument you do it on so much as the music you want to come out. Once you get good at coming out with musical phrases that flow you'll find that the instrument will allow it to whatever level of familiarity you have with that instrument. So humming as you jam along is a great way to loosen up and let it flow.

[William Smith]

Everyone has great points, Most important go have fun! Sometimes it works sometimes it don't. Its easy to get bummed, I know how it is when everyone isn't on the same page and timing is all over the place/ were all guilty of that at some point. I've been pickin for 25 years and sometimes get bummed with my playing/others playing but keep at it. "That'll shoot your nerves right there" When it goes good you shouldn't have a care in the world.
Play along with cd's/youtube, I'd be a better player if I had lessons no doubt but as a kid growing up in the 90's no one was really around my area, but we did have dial up Sure got pointers from pickers not real one on one. CD's helped me. Nowadays there is online stuff everywhere, seems players everywhere. Just keep on going whenever and nerves will settle out.

[Tobin]

Have you guys got any tips for playing through the nerves, or things I could be doing on my own to improve my playing in jams?

Below is part of a conversation I posted on another site, but I thought it was relevant enough to cross-post here (selectively edited). It'll save me the time of re-typing something new just to reiterate what I had said previously.

---------

On jamming nerves, I went through that for years, and still do occasionally. Playing at home is low-stress, but when you get in front of others and there's a lot of external feedback, it can all fall apart. Learning to play through the nervousness is just as important as learning to play your instrument in the first place. This is one of the reasons it's so incredibly important to get out and play with others as often as possible. It involves a lot more than just playing your instrument. It will take time, and you will experience a lot of "crash and burn" episodes. Don't fear it. It is absolutely necessary as part of the learning experience, and everybody at the jam understands it. They went through it themselves, I guarantee.

Learning to crash and burn, how to recover, and how to play through the nerves, is part of being a musician. You'll get there. Every crash and burn will make you a stronger player, and over time you will find that your nerves become less and less of an issue. That's the way it works for everyone. You just have to maintain the intestinal fortitude to keep doing it.

If you are not pushing yourself hard enough in the jam to crash and burn, you're not going to progress as quickly. Don't take the "safe route" in your breaks. Try doing the things that are at the edge of your ability. If you pull it off, you'll be floating on air. If you crash and burn, you've gained another lesson. But virtually nothing is gained by doing simple, safe breaks that you know you can handle without problems.

Jamming nerves is all about pride. And as they say, "pride cometh before the fall".

This is something that I've seen time and time again with folks who are new to jamming, and experienced myself. People learn their instruments at home and they feel confident enough to wander out into the world and attempt to play in front of others. But the fear of crashing and burning in front of experienced players is so intense that it ends up causing the crash and burn, in a vicious self-induced phenomenon. The kicker is that you have to have enough pride in your playing ability to go forth and jam, but the pride causes you to fail. It comes down to simple fear of embarrassment, and fear of not living up to the expectations of others. How in the world are we supposed to succeed when our own confidence gets turned against us?

It really just comes down to humility, and not allowing those expectations to build up too high. I know it helped me a lot when I was new to jamming if I would clearly let others know that I was new and inexperienced, and even warn them ahead of time that I was probably going to screw it up. It's not fun acting like a newbie; we naturally want to pretend we are more experienced and more talented than we actually are, just to avoid being looked down upon. But this is mostly in our heads. If the folks at your jam know that you're new to this, there's no reason to present any false pretenses about your ability. Trust me, they'll figure it out pretty quickly anyway. And they'll respect you more if you're humble about your ability, rather than if you try to overcompensate.

It helps even more if you ask them for advice and overplay your newbie status. By presenting yourself as inexperienced and in need of help (which again, I know is not very fun and feels foolish) it can really help break down that pride issue that is causing the nervousness. And more importantly, what it does is subconsciously suggest to the others that they should help build your confidence. When I was still in my first few years of jamming and had developed a regular rapport with my local jam buddies, I noticed that the more humble I was, the more compliments I would get on my playing. And man, what a confidence booster that was! Getting hoots and "good job" comments after playing a tune would cause me to feel like I was on top of the world. That built on itself slowly, month after month, year after year. I do occasionally get the shakes at a jam, but I just force myself to realize that it's my pride trying to assert itself. If I crash and burn, so what? They won't arrest me and confiscate my mandolin.

When I first started teaching my wife to play the mandolin, I wanted to get her out to jams and playing in front of people. The first few times, she had real honest-to-goodness panic attacks. She couldn't breathe, her coordination went to hell, she would just shut down and want to go home. These turned into bad experiences that convinced her in her own mind that she absolutely would not play in front of people ever again. It has taken 3 solid years of slowly building up her confidence, and inviting friends and neighbors over to hear us play at home, or doing some casual busking, to build up her confidence again. I've finally gotten her to come with me to jams and start stepping out from playing background chords to playing leads.

It takes time. And it takes failing. But learning how to embarrass yourself and take it in stride is how you become a musician. Your pride just has to take repeated abuse, and you have to learn that it's working against you. It's only when you get past the fear of failure that your nerves will abate. Note that I'm not saying you will stop failing occasionally. But learning not to fear it, and to just play your best, and to enjoy the moments and the music, is when the nerves seem to disappear.

[Cindy]

"Dare to suck" will go with me to every jam from now on.

[PhilO]

Thank you so much, Tobin..............
Your reply has to be one of the BEST I have ever read, and experienced myself, on those Jammin' Jitters.

[BrianWilliam]

Beer? Beer!

[JeffD]

It helps even more if you ask them for advice and overplay your newbie status. By presenting yourself as inexperienced and in need of help.

Its a good way to win big in the pool hall too.

[Mark Gunter]

Below is part of a conversation I posted on another site, but I thought it was relevant enough to cross-post here (selectively edited). It'll save me the time of re-typing something new just to reiterate what I had said previously.

A whole heap of insight, wisdom and useful advice in that post.

[UsuallyPickin]

Well .... practice jamming at home with a recording or a radio station or a streaming station. A song starts .... first you find the key then you figure out the chord structure then you take as many breaks, and play fill until it is done. Nobody hears you crash but the only person there to help is you. You will learn what chords work in what keys , how to find what chord is coming up next by the lead in of the bass and guitar, how to jump in to a break and how to move through chord changes using double stops and cross picking. Listen and play for an hour every chance you get. I use http://www.bluegrassmix.com/ It's free it's 24/7.......Listen play and learn .....
Luck R/

[Jim Hudson]

One last bit of advice that has helped me - Stay loose. I tend to tighten my grip on the neck and the pick when I get nervous. Everything Tobin said plus consciously loosen your grip(s) before you start ... and keep the chord progression in mind ... and ... don't be afraid to suck ... and ... just have fun ...

[Eddie Sheehy]

Keep in mind that no-one is really listening to your break. The others are already teeing-up their break and waiting impatiently for you to finish so they can shine... You're playing your break for yourself.

[stevedenver]

Tobins post is great.
I jam regularly.
I am ok sucking. Many songs i solo on , i dont know, and try to figure out the melody on the fly. Often transposing some capoed guitar fingering too. Sometimes i do well, sometimes not well. No one seems to care much.

I sing , or try to. And jams seem to rattle my memory at times, if a tune is known but not been recently drilled repeatedly.

Repetition can really help w nerves or, in my case, soft brain syndrome after a day at the office, no dinner and rushing to an evening jam.

I find the nervousness can simply be distractions of new stuff.
I have blanked on lyrics i know cold. Very frustrating at times, but....
WE ALL DO IT.

Go for the experience, and not performance. For me, it lightens things up.
Its a uch bigger deal, imho, to be out of tune than great....LOL.

[farmerjones]

Hadn't truly jammed with strangers in awhile, and got into a real good'n weekend after the 4th.
I remembered something; If you wave off the break too many times, one gets sort of passed over, permanently.
Then if they get to one you know, you have to say so, like, "Hey, I'll take a piece of that one!" So rather than "buying in" and "cashing out" only to have to "buy in" again, I decided, Hey, I came along ways, and I'm there to jam, so i'll try just about anything that comes down the line. The more chances you take the less crashing even comes to mind. Clams happen and nobody gets hurt.
Sure, you may feel the worst, because you played it but don't dwell on it. Because there will be a time or a tune and it may only be one break, but when those magic moments happen there's nothing better. But it won't happen for you unless you're there, and you're in it.

[Barry Wilson]

https://www.jamkazam.com/ is a cool way of online jamming.

[Relio]

Jamming nerves are normal. Especially when playing with people better than yourself. On occasion I'll go on YouTube and look up IBMA jams and then play along with those and take breaks.

[Don Grieser]

What's the worst that can happen if you crash and burn on your break? No one dies. The rest of the group will maintain the song/tune. In the grand scheme of things it's no big deal. Jump in and go for it. Learning how to recover and get back into the groove is a wonderful thing to learn and there is no other way to learn it.

[Jeff Mando]

Hey, a lot of pros do sloppy solos from time to time. The difference is they just smile through it as if everything is cool -- and it is!

[Bertram Henze]

It takes time. And it takes failing. But learning how to embarrass yourself and take it in stride is how you become a musician.

A very precise description, and in a way resembling Douglas Adams' recipe on how to learn to fly:

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy suggests, and try it.

The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.

That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.

Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.

One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.

It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.

If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinty, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.

This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration. Bob and float, float and bob. Ignore all consideration of your own weight simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.

Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.

DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.

When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly easier and easier to achieve.