The end of my playing days.

[almeriastrings]

Ivan.... not been on here much lately due to other pressures... so missed this earlier.

Thinking of you, friend. Your input on mandolin and bluegrass has always been relevant, meaningful and much appreciated.

With you.

[dang]

Sad news Ivan, so sorry to hear...

I am glad for your many contributions over the years and I hope you can it keep up!

[Dagger Gordon]

I've been away for a while and only read this. I'm really sorry to hear this news.
I feel I've got to know you quite well over the years on the cafe here.

[LadysSolo]

Ivan, you can do this, I really believe it. All my best wishes to you, you are in my thoughts daily.

[Ivan Kelsall]

Hello Bertram - Yes,Mesothelioma is usually associated with asbestos - but !. It can be caused by other things. Even small children who haven't been exposed to asbestos can get it. Myself - i've never been exposed to asbestos in any form,so how this has happened,i don't know,
Ivan

[Russ Jordan]

So sorry to hear the diagnosis. Prayers and best wishes.

[William Smith]

I'm bummed out for you about hearing about this but there is always miracles even today, belief is a strong thing no matter faith or no faith at all "just believe", the mind is a wonder and self healing can be done, I've seen it and lived it! You still can live a happy long remaining time with your loved ones. You have my personal email buddy if you want to chat, I'll help however I can-even if it means reading a line or two!

[John Kelly]

Ivan, words can seems so empty at a time like this. You are in my thoughts.

[atetone]

Ivan ,,, without a doubt your prognosis is a tough one to fathom .
It is a hard one to even believe.
I note that you still have motivation based on the fact that you jumped right on the task of selling your mandolins.
Many people in your situation could not muster up the courage to take care of business like you have.
I hope you can channel that motivation to the task at hand which is to focus on your treatment program.
As I previously told you I was given slim to no chance of survival for my cancer.
The magic and highly doubtful goal was to try to last 5 years and that was not really considered to be a very realistic outcome.
I am up to 8 years now.
I am not "cured" but I am an example of a case in which the dire prognosis has so far been proven to be wrong.
And I am still chugging along.
This could happen with you too.
Once the waiting ended and the treatments started I focused on them completely with an intensity that left no room for stress.
I didn't spend any time worrying about it at all.
I think that really helped me maintain strength. No energy wasted on stressing.
We are all very different makeups and of course I can't tell you "the answer" for you.
You have to search for it yourself and I wish you all the best in finding what puts you in a comfort zone that allows the treatments the opportunity to achieve the best possible results.
Survival can and does happen.
Keep us informed and good luck.

[bigskygirl]

So sorry Ivan, please know that we are all thinking of you in this difficult time.

[CES]

Ivan,

We’re all sorry for you, brother, so no need to feel sorry for yourself. It’s time to fight, and a large part of how you do with treatment will depend on your attitude and approach to them. If you haven’t seen it, watch the video below below for some inspiration:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HuoVM9nm42E

[Ivan Kelsall]

Hi all - Right now,apart from my up coming Chemo.,everything i'm doing is to make things easier for my wife should the worst happen. She knows where i bought my mandolins,but she wouldn't have any idea re.selling them. I had to order a custom made box & packing,pack them up securely & then find a courier to deliver them. Fortunately,i did both without too much trouble. I still have my banjo to sell,& my elec. guitar & amp.

Being honest - yes,i do feel sorry for myself,why the he** shouldn't i ?. But that is so insignificant against the apalling sadness that i feel knowing what my wife will have to go through - that's the real killer !!,
Ivan

[Bill Cameron]

Your wit and wisdom is much appreciated in this forum, Ivan. Here’s to you and your loved ones.

[CES]

There’s the Ivan we know and love! Best of luck in taking care of things so your wife won’t have to. I hope it all goes as smoothly and quickly as your mandolin sales

[re simmers]

Ivan,
You are in our prayers.
I appreciate all of your cafe writings. I just looked back at some old conversations. This is a good way to get to know good people, and you’re one of the many here.
Feel free to pm me anytime.
Blessings to you and your wife.
Bob Simmers

I’m sorry I’m so late replying, but I don’t get to spend as much time on here as I used to.

[Eric Hanson]

Hello Ivan,
I have been in your wife’s shoes. My wife had a stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis in September of 2015. Her treatment posed certain challenges on both of us.
She read in her research that a supportive mate provides a 12% greater chance at success/survival than those without such. I am so glad you have a wife who dearly loves you. You can, as did my wife, refer to her as your “12%”. :-)
Whatever happens know that you are cared for and appreciated.
My hope is for you to face the challenges of Chemo with great strength. Stay away from sugar. It is a favorite food of cancer.
My wife chose to make vegetable smoothies so she could get her vegies down regularly.
May you find joy in every hour that is given to you as a gift.

[Ivan Kelsall]

Hi Eric - Healthy cells also need sugar to function. All foods contain some form of 'sugar',so cutting out sugary foods may help,there's still a lot of sugar derived from other foods circulating in our bodies. Again,as my doc. told me,it's dependent on the individual. One of the unfortunate aspects of cancer,is that while you do need to eat 'normally' (or as normally as a 74 year old wants to),the way it messes with your mind robs you of almost any appetite at all. It's no wonder people with cancer loose weight = it's not simply because of the disease.

Thanks all of you for your thoughts & good wishes - they do indeed mean an awful lot. I'm struggling to get through each day. Apart from reading,something i've done since my grandfather taught me to read at age 4 (his father was a skilled printer,so there were always books around),i've no interest in anything. Even music which to me,is a joyous thing,has no appeal in the totally un-joyous situation in which i find myself. Peace & quiet & a good book is it for me right now,

God bless every one of you for you kindness - Ivan

[John Kelly]

Ivan, when my wife died totally unexpectedly in November last year, I lost interest in playing or even listening to any music, and I abandoned the MC site, something I was on every day, and usually more than once. I could not get myself motivated to try recording for the SAW group or even just get an instrument out. I am the same age as you are, and while our situations are obviously so very different, we both have been hammered with stunning blows which cannot just be shaken off. The speed of her passing certainly made me very much more aware of my own mortality, and as she was eight years my junior, I had always assumed she'd easily outlive me!

With amazing support from my daughters and their families and also from the world of Girlguiding UK (Elaine was very active at national level in the movement) and a group of close friends I have managed to get back to playing and listening again, and actually last Wednesday played a first gig since E's passing away. There are songs and tunes I still cannot deal with at present, but the experience of entertaining again was much better than I would have expected.

The support and positive energy generated in this thread has been just amazing, and it may well be that you might find yourself putting down the book in the near future and picking up an instrument. Only you can make this move.

Thinking about you and yours.

[Timbofood]

Ivan,
I have told you before that I truly respect you and this situation is no different.
You are exhibiting the grace, kindness and, respect for others in your inimitable style!
Interesting factoid,
My Father was a very frustrated printer (we actually had a Heidelberg in the garage) and instilled an appreciation for typography in me!

[Eric Hanson]

Ivan,
I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble. I wished in no way to do so.
Yes. All bodies are different. My sincere hope is you do very well. And your body accepts the treatment very well.
May you find peace where you can. May the love of those near you be a healing.
Take care friend. We look forward to anything you can share as your body heals.

[Daniel Nestlerode]

Ivan,

I'm speechless, and so sorry for you. I've been sitting on this reply for a few days not knowing what to say.

I wish you the best possible outcomes and a long life.

Daniel

[Paul Cowham]

Ivan, I'm so sorry to read this. If you're feeling up to it then I could try and visit sometime soon?

[allenhopkins]

Hi all - Unfortunately,the form of cancer that i have,Mesothelioma - is incurable. It can however be 'controlled' by chemotherapy,but to what extent, & for how long is an unknown,as it depends greatly on the individual.

Very sorry to hear this. My wife's uncle's family, several of whom worked in a Quincy MA shipyard, lost two or three to mesothelioma. Of course, they worked through the 1950's to 1980's dealing with sprayed asbestos.

Techniques for managing this form of cancer have improved substantially, possibly due to the funding provided in the US as a result of liability findings against asbestos companies. They sound quite strenuous, but, depending on what stage your "meso" is in, prognoses for extended survival are guardedly optimistic.

Keep us posted as much as you can... We all hope for the best of outcomes for you.

[Randi Gormley]

So sorry to read this ... keeping you in my thoughts. My religious service includes a place to ask for strength to those who are ill and i'll do so for you if you don't mind. I figure any positive energy is worthwhile!

[LadysSolo]

Ivan, of course you have the right to feel sorry for yourself - your diagnosis truly sucks!
One of the tricks we used (in the 23 years I worked on the oncology unit) was to put food on a small plate, and less of it. A large plate of food looked overwhelming. We would cut sandwiches into fourths, and give people 1/4 of a sandwich every couple of hours. A bunch of grapes looked overwhelming, so we would give them 10 grapes at a time. We would fill a large sippy cup with the beverage of choice and ask the person to take a sip every 15 to 30 minutes. The key was small amounts often. Hope these ideas help. I think about you daily.