I have an open mike on Saturday and I'm scared to death

[Dan in NH]

I have a monthly acoustic barn jam that I attend. It lasts for two hours one Saturday a month. There's about 12-15 of us who regularly show up. We sit in a circle and take turns calling songs. The one who calls the song is expected to lead the group in playing & singing. We'll also allow anyone who wants to to solo during the song while the rest of us comp.

Normally I take a pass when it's my turn to call. I don't feel comfortable leading the playing, or trying to sing while I play. I tell them that I'm quite content to just strum & hum.

The group has been very welcoming and encouraging for new players like myself. For some time now they have encouraging me to branch out and prepare a song to lead for the group. That's fine and all for them, as the host and several group regulars are all regularly gigging musicians. I am very uncomfortable putting myself out like that.

The few times a beginner like myself has tried to "branch out" it has been disastrous for them - They don't play in time, they mumble instead of sing, halt & hesitate and make mistakes while playing. Again the group is great about it, praising the attempt and encouraging them to do it again, but more than one player was so embarrassed they never came back.

This month the host/organizer has decided to do something different. The last hour will be our regular jam session, but the first hour will be open mike. I resolved that I will play a short, simple tune, just a melody with no singing, and have been practicing for the last couple of weeks.

Well with four days to go I'm scared to death of playing in front of people. I'm still struggling playing all the way through in time with no mistakes. I am greatly tempted to just blow the whole thing off.

[Mandobar]

If these are the people you jam with, regularly, they know your abilities (whether you realize that or not). So, just think about that when you are playing for them. Also, do you have a backing track that you can practice to, and then play it while you are playing at the open mike?

What you have found is a little community and they seem supportive. Stick with it. No one ever said, "I wish that I'd given up more."

[NDO]

Don’t give up. Every single person in the group- EVERY one of them- had the same struggle the first few times. Relax and have fun, laugh and keep playing if you miss a note, and power through it. Fake it till you make it
Focus more on steady timing and keeping going than on hitting every note perfectly, don’t go back and start over a section unless there’s no other way to get there.
Above all have fun, the terror goes away with practice but the enjoyment gets better and better. It’s worth the initial pain.

[MikeEdgerton]

They all started out just like you. I've played on stage for decades. When I screw up as we all do, I make a joke about it and carry on. Being able to play successfully in a group does require work on your part but don't think that the other folks have never been in your shoes. Learn to roll with it, you are there to have fun so have fun.

[Dave Hicks]

I hate playing on stage, especially solo. But I hate not doing it even more.

It does get easier as you do it more, though. When I first started teaching I practiced all my lectures 2 or 3 times, but now I'm ready whenever you want to hear about mitosis and meiosis.

D.H.

[Nashville]

This is a lot like a cold plunge into icy water. Sooner or later you'll have to make the plunge and often we musicians never feel quite ready for it. You can wait until you're more comfortable with the tune or just try not to worry about mistakes. I'm quite sure the other players won't care too much. I know a couple world class mandolin players that still get nervous playing a new song in front of a crowd even after practicing the heck out of a tune.

[bigskygirl]

I so hope you do it. As others have said everyone knows your playing already and it’s not Carnegie Hall, its a place filled with your friends and jam mates that are there to have fun. If you can go close to the beginning…you won’t have time to worry about things and everyone else will be thinking of when they have to go.

Play slower than you normally would because you are nervous. Is there someone who can accompany you on guitar up there to help keep you on track? If you make a mistake just take a deep breath and continue on or start over if you have to. Everyone will understand. They also know that once you are done, even if you think you played horribly you will be thrilled that you did it.

I have terrible stage fright and it takes alot to get me up there but once I do it I have so much fun I wanna do it again.

When I first took up the mando the jam group I had been going to kept encouraging me to lead a tune and I kept passing. Finally I decided to lead Whiskey Before Breakfast and it was fun playing and listening to others play and having to learn to lift my foot for it to end and messing up when I did…still do ha…but the feeling after was so great I wanted to do it again.

[tmsweeney]

All the following will be true of your open mic performance

1. it will be great and everyone will encourage you to keep at it and do more
2. you will think you flopped and could have done it a lot better or differently
3. items 1 and 2 should be enough to keep you moving in the right direction on your mandolin journey.

relax ( I know easier said than done) you'll be fine (you will)

did you pick a tune yet ?

[Dan in NH]

relax ( I know easier said than done) you'll be fine (you will)

did you pick a tune yet ?

LOL. Yes, and every time I post here what tune I will be playing I get crap for it. I'll be playing Irish Washerwoman, about as simple a mandolin melody as you can get.

[JeffD]

I find playing for an audience or group to be very very stressful. This was true in the beginning and hasn't changed much in the umpty-ump years I have been playing.

There are many reasons that can be sorted out - fear of not sounding good enough to them, fear of not sounding good enough to me, fear that how I think of myself will be objectively demonstrated to be false, fear that how I think of myself will be objectively demonstrated to be true lots and lots of reasons. A therapist would have a lot of fun figuring this one out.

I have never been able to get rid of the anxiety. The best I have ever been able to do is manage my response to the anxiety. The so called "do it anyway" strategy. Acknowledge that I am intimidated, (resign myself that I can't change that), and fight against being inhibited by it.

It has never gotten easier, I have never learned from my experience of survival. And I expect that it never will. I just have come to expect it, to accept it. This is the environment in which I have to act. I cannot seem to remove it or mitigate it, or even ignore it. All I have ever been able to do is to decide, every single time, that I am going to do it.

I don't suppose this will help anyone, but it is how my motor runs.

[Mike Buesseler]

I don’t think Irish Washerwoman is all that simple. If it were my first time, I might have chosen something like The Ashgrove.

Do you have a recording device? Nothing prepares me better for a performance (of which I do very few) than trying to get one good take on on my iPad. By the time I can do that (after maybe 25 tries) I feel way more confident.

[Bill McCall]

It may help to practice as if you are performing, ie, mimic the conditions including standing or sitting. Say hello to the cat or wall, introduce the tune and play it once. Take a deep breath, have a cup of tea, wait 15 minutes and do it again. And again. Then when you play at the open mic you’ll have a little bit of routine to help.

It’s normal to be nervous, managing that is the key. You’ll get better with it over time and your audience will help you succeed. Be easy on yourself, you can’t be born full grown.

Good luck and have fun with it. It’s more about the friends and kinship.

[tmsweeney]

LOL. Yes, and every time I post here what tune I will be playing I get crap for it. I'll be playing Irish Washerwoman, about as simple a mandolin melody as you can get.

Irish Washerwomen is a great tune and not really all that easy to play- though easily recognizable ( thank you Bugs Bunny) good choice!

[Kevin Winn]

If you wait until you are totally comfortable, you'll never do it. No one is totally comfortable on a stage; you just learn to embrace the discomfort.

As has been said in previous posts, you'll probably make mistakes and feel like it didn't go as well as you hoped. If it's just the members of your regular jam group, every single person in the room has been there and will be sympathetic. Relax and have fun with the imperfections of a live performance. It does get easier, but only through actual experience.

One gig is worth a hundred rehearsals.

[Jill McAuley]

Between now and Sunday start playing that tune in different parts of your house, outdoors, with the lights low, with family members watching etc. Generalizing the environments that you play it in will help make it easier to play it at the open mike.

The most common thing that people will say when a performance goes awry is that they don't understand how it happened because they'd practiced the tune/song over and over and over again at home but then when they got onstage it fell apart. Everyone always assumes that the main culprit is that you're playing in front of an audience, but just as important to consider is that you're playing in an environment that isn't the same one you practice in day in and day out.

[allenhopkins]

You shoulda seen me at my first open mic stint at the Denver Folklore Center's Friday night, back in 1966. Tune was Victory Rag on an Appalachian Autoharp that I'd purchased at the Center with my Sp4 pay. Directly before my scheduled slot, I visited the bathroom and separated myself from my lunch.

Then I got up and played, pretty much OK. As a "performer" I got my 50¢ admission refunded -- my first professional gig!

Since then I've performed several thousand times, as a solo and in various groups. Never without some apprehension, anxiety, "stage fright"; almost never without making a vocal or instrumental mistake. Supportive audiences (which is what you'll have), indifferent audiences, semi-hostile audiences -- all opportunities to learn, develop, become more comfortable.

You'll never be the best performer, never be the worst one either. And it does get easier. Really.

[Dan in NH]

I don’t think Irish Washerwoman is all that simple

Really? It's a jig, just a run of eighth notes. It isn't even all that long, I have to play it through start to finish twice just to make it feel like a song and not just a chorus.

Do you have a recording device? Nothing prepares me better for a performance (of which I do very few) than trying to get one good take on on my iPad. By the time I can do that (after maybe 25 tries) I feel way more confident.

Man oh man. I could probably manage something like that with my phone, but I don't think I could stand listening to it.

[Lucas]

Well with four days to go I'm scared to death of playing in front of people. I'm still struggling playing all the way through in time with no mistakes. I am greatly tempted to just blow the whole thing off.

As opposed to the majority opinion here, I say don't do it. You won't be ready in 4 days. What's the rush? Why torture yourself over this? Delay your open mic performance until you know the song cold and you can play it in your sleep.

[GMorgan]

Wow, I sure understand. Stage fright is a normal part of presenting anything in front of others. Although I have yet to appear in front of a "real" audience with my relatively new mandolin skills, I used to do a whole lot of professional public speaking. Here are a few ways that I dealt with appearing in front of an audience.

If I make a mistake or something quits working, like a microphone, or I knock over my water, I immediately have fun with it. I make the audience share in the moment. If I lost my place or goofed, I might immediately make a light-hearted quip." Make your audience part of the experience. Kind, positive humor can be quite effective.

Technology can help. I have been recently asked to give three eulogies on short notice. In all three cases, I had an AirPod connected to my iPhone which was playing a recording I created,, slowly reading my outline. I like working without paper notes. I could have stopped the recording, had I slipped behind my notes, but it helped me remember what would come next. That worked great, twice.

During my most recent eulogy, an emergency alert interrupted my phone and the recording stopped. For reasons too numerous to mention, I could not restart the sound file. So, I told the grieving congregation that my technology had just quit working and that I was just going to do the best I could without notes. It's hard to make light of something during a memorial service, but I knew I was doing my best and so did the audience. And, having practiced my speech as much as I could, I did pretty well.

Bits of these coping tricks might help when playing your mandolin, too. Although I have not had a real audience for my mandolin playing, and i am still a recent convert to the instrument, I like to play on my front porch. I know that neighbors will occasionally walk by and hear me playing, and that does make me a tad nervous, but it does mean that I get lots of practice time with a bit of an audience. I also do the AirPod trick all the time. I have about 150 pieces that I like to play and they are all on my phone. I shuffle the playlist when I first sit down and then just play along. So, although everyone else will only hear me playing, I am maintaining my timing and don't ever forget what comes next because I am discretely listening to the music and just playing along. I would likely utilize my AirPod trick, at least the first time with only a single song in the queue, if I were doing what you are about to do.

I hope you do play. It's a lot of fun, especially when you finish.

Best of luck!

[JeffD]

Man oh man. I could probably manage something like that with my phone, but I don't think I could stand listening to it.

Yes. I get a similar anxiety playing into a recorder. In fact, it is the way I "simulate" playing in public to practice not just the music but also the anxiety.

No not to get over the anxiety, but to create in my practice room a level of anxiety to practice pushing through.

[Dan in NH]

The weird thing is I don't have a problem getting up in front of people. I've done community theater. I've done professional group training and run staff meetings, both leadership team with just me and three subordinates and "all hands" meetings with 20+ employees, my boss, and the HR manager in attendance. I've also taught adult Sunday School classes, and in a pinch covered Sunday Pulpit.

But the thing is I KNOW that I know how to get up in front of a group and talk. That's part of my identity - I'm the ham, I can thrive in the spotlight. But this isn't getting up in front of a group and TALKING. This is getting up in front of a group and playing an instrument. And another part of my identity is "You STINK at guitar and mandolin and harmonica and recorder and kazoo and everything ELSE you've ever tried, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even owning those things, and Marcy Grossman never LIKED you back in the 7th grade, she only went to the movies with you because she felt sorry for you, and YOU MAKE ME SICK."

So I've kinda got a lot going on. It's complicated.

[Zach Wilson]

You got this

Just take a deep breath, smile, introduce your song, play it and have fun!

[Ed McGarrigle]

Heck, you are already ahead of me. I flub tunes I’ve had success with when I play in front of my teacher and I don’t play in any ensemble type setting. But what you describe does sound kind of ideal for a beginner. I suggest finding a version that matches what you play, downloading it to The Amazing Slow Downer and practice the hell out of it at a tempo that you can master. Also, I record myself which also causes jitters because it’s a kind of performance situation.
So, anyway (fwiw I’m A psychologist) a big part of conquering anxiety is exposure to and practice with the object of your anxiety and BREATHING. Practice some deep breathing exercises and don’t believe everything you think. Good luck. Playing in front of others scares the crap out of me too— but I bet it’s fun.

[David Lewis]

The worst that can happen is that it’ll be bad. No one dies. No one loses their job. You’re not solving the problems of the Middle East or performing experimental brain surgery. Get up there, play it like you’re Freddie Mercury at live aid, and don’t worry.

Just do. No one cares about your nerves.

[rumpystumpy]

I had to deal with serious issues with public speaking panic as a young man and I’ve taken what I’ve learned forward into my playing.

The main advice from me is small steps. I wouldn’t try to leapfrog the Jam Leading and straight into the open mic.

I started playing in lockdown and joined a zoom jam where everyone else was on mute. I would cramp up and bail on tunes but by this point in my life I don’t care. The ability to crash, burn and keep going like a skateboarder wiping out was a massive step in progressing.
Now I meet the same people in the pub and lead jams all the time and have sung/played solo in the jam. Also jamming in a band situation for a dance troup. Im building up to open mic but not there yet.