I have an open mike on Saturday and I'm scared to death

[rumpystumpy]

….and forgot to mention.
By turning up and participating in these events you’ve already gone further and shown more grit than most people.

[Greg Connor]

Everybody has had a first time playing in front of our peers. Sounds like you have a great group of supporting friends.

The second time will improve, third will be even better. Your sense of accomplishment will be noticed right from the beginning. Enjoy the process, even the mistakes.

[Tony S]

When I first started playing with a little band, the fiddler told me that he was also nervous about performing until he realized that instead of critiquing mistakes, most of the audience was thinking, "Gee, I wish I could do that."

Bill Busseler made a good suggestion: record yourself. It is curious to me that, when I started doing this, the act of self-recording made me almost as self-conscious as performing in front of an audience.
Break a leg. I predict that once you have done this, you'll want more.

[maxr]

What everybody above says. I was a semipro musician for years - I almost never got nervous worth talking about playing to hundreds of people in big halls, but put me in a room with 30 other musicians and there's an even chance of nerves setting in to some degree. Almost everybody gets it sometime, there are classical pros who feel physically ill before each concert. The great think about non classical music forms is that you only have to play what you decide - so play what you're most confident with, it'll probably sound better than anything else you know. It's also a learning process, the more you do the less you'll get nerves. I'm discovering that again after some years off sessions.

[EdHanrahan]

... ie, mimic the conditions including standing or sitting. Say hello to the cat or wall, introduce the tune and ...

Exactly what I was thinking!

FWIW, after decades of playing in groups, I'd still be nervous as heck doing a solo gig in front of strangers. In a group of fellow casual musicians, usually not so much because we all know that we all have been there and, uhmm, probably will be again. Hey, they're all pulling for ya!

[MontanaMatt]

One of the mental challenges of live performance, especially soloing, is absorbing the bad notes. They stab your brain and cause you pain, making you want to stop. But you gotta keep going. Part of your mindset as you develop your skills should focus on how to continue with the song and rhythm when accidents happen.
Intentionally inserting errors into your practice will help normalize the departure from,then return to, the”right tune”. When you get good at mistakes, it becomes improvisation! I’ve been a professional picker for 18 yrs. I can comfortably play most of the wrong notes and make it sound authoritative!

I also enjoy playing with non professionals, and don’t think badly of those on a different part of the path of discovery of music.
Do it, and then get excited about the next gathering where you will be one step closer to comfortable.
Happy pickin

[Bob Gnann]

I was in industrial sales for many years and also did product safety training sessions for our customers. Speaking in public can cause anything from mild anxiety to outright panic attack for some individuals. So being nervous or scared about your first open mic is completely normal. Every musician, much like every person who is asked to speak in public, has to have a first time playing in front of people. The fact that you're playing in front of fellow musicians, who by your description, seem to be an accepting group of people, actually should be looked at as making it easier. They've all been there too.
My advice, learn your material to the best of your ability. Being properly prepared increases your confidence which in turn lessens your anxiety. And relax up there!
I play at a weekly open mic and there's always some really good musicians there. Mostly a rock/blues/pop kinda crowd. They have always responded positively to my bluegrass/country/rockabilly offerings. I've had some come out of the audience in mid song to join in and sing vocals with me. Or play bass or guitar or harmonica backup.
Play that open mic and remember this music thing is meant to be fun and enjoyable!
And please follow up and let us know how it went.

[OldSausage]

It's okay to go out on stage and be lousy. In fact, it is quite de rigueur.

[liestman]

Two suggestions. I know you said you are playing Irish Washerwoman. Be sure you can play it while watching and understanding the nightly news. That is when (to me, anyway) I know I know a tune well enough. Also, for your first time out, don't play a tune you just learned - play something you are very comfortable with.

[ProfChris]

I did my first public performance at a group like that, and have persuaded newcomers to overcome their fears and have a go.

As it's a bunch of people you know, and you know they are supportive, I'd suggest just going for it. Some suggestions:

1. Don't put it off until you can play the tune perfectly. You may never be satisfied with yourself, and thus never try it! No matter how well you can play the tune, your fingers will freeze up with nerves the first time, and you'll struggle through it. I struggled, everyone I know did too.

2. Everyone in the group will want you to succeed. And they know this is your first time playing solo in public, so they will think succeeding means just getting up there! Anything resembling the tune is a bonus. Honestly, they'll be so pleased for you.

3. If you get the bug (and I think you will, see point 4), then start making audio recordings at home. Listen back to them, to find out where things aren't quite working, and then work on those parts. This really helps. Even the recording app on your phone will do. For me, it helped identify places where I stumbled or the phrasing sounded awkward, and I could practice playing those parts differently (different fingering might be the answer) and then listen back to see if I'd made an improvement. Plus, listening to a recording you made a couple of months ago is very encouraging - even you will be able to tell that you play much better now!

4. You have a huge advantage because ...

I KNOW that I know how to get up in front of a group and talk. That's part of my identity - I'm the ham, I can thrive in the spotlight. But this isn't getting up in front of a group and TALKING.

So do I (comes with the job description). And once the audience applauds you for playing, you'll want to do it again only better. Long term, those communication skills of yours will translate to musical performance, but it takes quite a few public appearances until you can play confidently enough to focus on the audience and do what you do when public speaking. Once you can, no-one notices the bum notes.* Being a performer (not just a player of music) is a whole other skill set, and you already have that. I'm a distinctly moderately accomplished player, but I'm a popular performer and have even been paid occasionally, just because the audience gets the full deal, not just hearing the notes.


*OK, the accomplished performers in the audience will hear some of the bum notes, but they will compliment you on the way your performance stopped all the other audience members from noticing them.

[A-board]

You’ll survive. My first open mike was in a small tavern featuring a bunch of neighborhood rockers. During their breaks, it became open mic time. My acoustic guitar friend and I took a slot and played a few tunes. I was petrified, and when people shouted, “We can’t hear the mandolin,” I knew my distance from the mic was perfect!

The beer was good, and I lived to play another day.

[maxr]

It's Saturday - good luck, and have fun! Let us know how it goes.

[MikeEdgerton]

Good luck today! Relax and enjoy the experience.

[Sue Rieter]

Rooting for ya today, phydaux!

[Zach Wilson]

Cheering you on from a far!

[maxr]

Well, phydaux has one more mandolin gig than I have tonight (memo to self - Just Do It!).

[Charlie Bernstein]

It's 12:18 Saturday afternoon. If you haven't left for the jam yet, here's another opinion.

If don't have to and don't want to — don't! (This applies to everything in life.)

But if you're challenging yourself to go beyond your usual self, you get big points before you even face the music. Power to you!

Here's how I solved stage fright:

I used to have paralyzing stage fright. I was the kid who didn't ask anyone to the prom. I was the kid who didn't show up for his senior yearbook photo.

Then, years later, something happened. A girlfriend broke up with me one day. I was devastated — and terrified about telling any of my friends. But I did. I swallowed my gum and told a good friend I'd been jilted. She said, "Oh! That's too bad. I'm so sorry."

And then she went on to talk about something totally unrelated — work, I think. And I realized: Just because the break-up was a big deal to me, that didn't mean it had to be a big deal to her — or to anyone else.

Armed with the revelatory knowledge that I'm not the center of the universe, I came up with a strategy for going on stage and surviving: Send someone else!

How? Easy. I invented an imaginary alter ego: "Neon" Leon Fullerton, a singing cowboy who's everything that I'm not: tall, good looking, confident, folksy, worldy, charismatic, and talented.

For about the past twenty years now, whenever I've been expected onstage, I've send Leon. He doesn't care whether people like him or not — though he expects them to. And he knows no one in the audence really gives a rat's caboose how he sounds. He knows he'll make mistakes, and he knows he'll float right over them. So he can just enjoy singing his songs and playing his guitar, and I can enjoy going along for the ride.

And a funny thing is that when I mentioned my strategy at the Telecaster forum, five other players chimed in and said they did exactly the same thing. So it might not work for everyone, but it's worth a try.

Until Covid came along, I was playing pub gigs and festivals and having a great time. Now I'm limited to one local coffee house a month, but I'm genuinely looking forward to getting out and doing some paying gigs again.

That's my story. What's yours? Let us know how it goes!

[dhergert]

Just about everyone who plays music in front of people has one memorable catastrophe that stands out in their memory as that one time where they wished they had never taken up music. And then every once in a while they'll play a venue and feel like it came close, but not as bad as, that memorable performance. Most often the audience doesn't even notice the lesser problems. But those catastrophic experiences are good for learning, we all do special things to try to avoid them on stage...

Having a perfect performance shouldn't be the goal, because it almost never happens. Having a performance where every mistake and deviation is either covered up or has a good recovery, should be the goal; so that means learning to be flexible while performing. For music performances, exact memorization is the enemy of flexibility. Learn a tune generally, but also learn alternative ways of doing it for when a mistake occurs. Practice your mistakes, and practice your recoveries.

"Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it." -- Chet Atkins

Then, breathe deeply, relax, and just do your best. If you're playing for a normal audience -- not a group of pro musicians -- 99% of the audience will not recognize any mistakes. And playing for pro musicians doesn't count because they understand what it was like when they started. Really.

[Denny Gies]

As many have said "We've all been there". You will be surprised that you will get through it and feel better. Pick something easy.

[Timbofood]

Once it starts, it will happen fast…
Great line from “Open Range” but, the idea applies. Once you do the first notes, you will be just fine.
The anticipation is much more stressful that the actual performance. Fear not, we have all been in the same canoe!

[DaveGinNJ]

I have a monthly acoustic barn jam that I attend. It lasts for two hours one Saturday a month. There's about 12-15 of us who regularly show up. We sit in a circle and take turns calling songs. The one who calls the song is expected to lead the group in playing & singing. We'll also allow anyone who wants to to solo during the song while the rest of us comp.

Normally I take a pass when it's my turn to call. I don't feel comfortable leading the playing, or trying to sing while I play. I tell them that I'm quite content to just strum & hum.

The group has been very welcoming and encouraging for new players like myself. For some time now they have encouraging me to branch out and prepare a song to lead for the group. That's fine and all for them, as the host and several group regulars are all regularly gigging musicians. I am very uncomfortable putting myself out like that.

The few times a beginner like myself has tried to "branch out" it has been disastrous for them - They don't play in time, they mumble instead of sing, halt & hesitate and make mistakes while playing. Again the group is great about it, praising the attempt and encouraging them to do it again, but more than one player was so embarrassed they never came back.

This month the host/organizer has decided to do something different. The last hour will be our regular jam session, but the first hour will be open mike. I resolved that I will play a short, simple tune, just a melody with no singing, and have been practicing for the last couple of weeks.

Well with four days to go I'm scared to death of playing in front of people. I'm still struggling playing all the way through in time with no mistakes. I am greatly tempted to just blow the whole thing off.

I found this thread interesting and helpful. lots of good advice. Interested to hear how it went

[Dan in NH]

So the jam was yesterday. Yesterday morning I was still unable to play the song all the way through without mistakes, so I didn't bring my mandolin to the jam, just one of my guitars.

There were about 12 or so of us. Several played for the open mike, mostly solo but a few duets. Lots of classic rock, blues, folk, and country. One older guy even played a couple of his original pieces that weren't half bad.

One girl brought her banjo and tried to play solo for the mike. She made all the classic first timer mistakes, mumbling into the microphone, hesitating & halting over her mistakes as she played. As always the group was very encouraging to her.

I told the group that I would have something prepared for next month.

[Charlie Bernstein]

Keep us posted. Operators are standing by!

[Dan in NH]

Keep us posted. Operators are standing by!

Well, I'm going to play my guitar since I'm better at guitar than I am at mandolin. I plan on playing Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash. I've got the tune from his Folsom Prison album on my iPhone. I plan to stream it to a bluetooth speaker, and sing & play along with the tune.

[mandocaster]

Nobody, except maybe Chris Thile, plays perfectly. You want to play this open mic. Do it! Stretch your envelope.