I have to say. As a newbie, I found this whole thread discouraging. I mean, I get it, you don't want to be rude and play over people when you don't know the song, or interrupt instruction by mindlessly playing notes or talking separately. That's just common politeness. And obviously I wouldn't just plop myself down without asking or introducing myself. I don't want to be where I'm not welcome.
But if I go to a session/jam, it'll be to have fun and enjoy others' company and the shared experience of feeling something cool. I spend enough of my day in rigid, cold hierarchies with way too many formal and informal rules and judgmental people. That's not a thing I want to do for fun. I don't want to be there to impress anyone or be impressed by anyone.
I think I'd rather noodle at home with my cat if this is what it's like to play with others.
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