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Thread: beautiful girl, a dark night, a dim street light

  1. #1

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    I think I may have written my first real mandolin song. all inspired by a very corrupt , yet somehow such beautiful thing. (since I have a girlfriend )

    friday night at my gig , the most beautiful girl ever approached me, talked about violin, she plays, and loves our music. she wanted to get together and jam and see how we play. now I am certainly not experienced in dating or reading signs, but I had a feeling this girl was paying a lot of attention to me..lots of eyes and a very inviting kind of vibe. now this girl is so hot I was totally attracted to the point that I was terrified. she mentioned "smoke" and I said well, Ok, lets go.. so I went to her apartment and we smoked and talked and played and everything was innocent and nice, and I went home with no more than a little hug good bye.

    last night, enchanted thinking about this beautiful girl, nothing direct , personal, sexual or anything, just thinking about her in general, I sat on my doorstep and played until around 1 am, just imagining the beauty of this girl, the way I saw her dance, it was so inspiring, the darkness, the notes sounding off neighboring buildings, the dim street light.. I wrote a full scale italian -gypsy style song, a real one,,, you know, where the melody doesnt just fall on some convenient chord progression... that seems to be my usual curse, I write stupid stuff, it all falls into I-V or I-V and its so hard to break away from melodic convenience... but this song... I dont even know some of the chords yet... its nice, very fluid and free non repetitive melody.. I cant wait to record it...

    of course, its inspired by my sinful attraction to this girl. so I feel like a real bad person, at the same time, I am very glad all this happened, because I wrote my own song, thats what I got out of it... I guess I am supposed to meet her tomorrow so she can learn some tunes




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    good gracious sakes jeff. #I think I can imagine her quite well from your description! What did you call your new song? #"Wicked Path of Sin" is already taken you know! # #Just kidding, of course. #Good thing that events stayed innocent, as you could have ended up with quite a long song! (but you probably wouldn't have been able to compose anything so quickly after that...)

    All kidding aside, congratulations on your first composistion. Nice that your inspiration was such a positive experience!
    Alan

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    Registered User Mike Buesseler's Avatar
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    jeff, if you wake up in a week or two and the tune sucks, well, you won't be the first...or the last. #Play, buddy, play.

    Seriously, I wonder how many really great songs have been composed to or for a beautiful woman? #LOTS, I would guess.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by
    ... I guess I am supposed to meet her tomorrow so she can learn some tunes
    ...he says non-chalantly, but inside...his heart is racing...

    Make sure you get back with some details. You know, what songs you worked on, that kind of stuff #
    Bill James
    www.axinc.net

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by (MikeB @ April 12 2004, 21:13)
    jeff, if you wake up in a week or two and the tune sucks, well, you won't be the first...or the last. #
    thats funny and true. #I have made stuff before, but it doenst "count" you know... # #I dont think one this will suck as bad... I hope..but it does , on closer inspection, fall into that ol I-V device.. but it takes many avenues to get there... #I usually dont have a genuine inspiration,, I just want to make something, which I often have guitar player syndrom (overplaying) focusing more on grammer and not enough on mood ..I hope this one is really good and I am not just buzzed from the girl. I put this real tragic twist in it... just to remember where it came from, you know.. something seems to be in me that has a flavor for the tragic, the appalling... I think thats why the whole thing has inspired me so much..

    I am going to record it soon and hopefully encode it right.




  6. #6

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    Got a title for it yet? How about "Smitten on the Strings"?
    Fred

  7. #7

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    I dont know what to name it yet. probably just something cliche about a hot girl or something..

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    Registered User Tom C's Avatar
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    Don't let your girlfriend know what inspired you. -Or lie

  9. #9

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    the name probably wont be in english... the girl is portuguese descent , so I am thinking of going that way with the title




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    Women will be women.., no matter what nationality. Took me many years to learn THAT. You may or may not know of The Louvin Brothers(Ira & Charlie). Ira is no longer with us, but Charlie told me Ira would write a song - they'd "put it together" - and many times if Ira didn't think it was any good..., he'd just "...throw it in the trash can." - I wonder how many and how much beautiful music - and words - Ira "threw in the trash can". Song writing is a God-given talent. I couldn't write a song if someone held a gun to my head ; hope it continues to come to you and "inspire" you. Good luck. Moose.:

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    Registered User Mike Buesseler's Avatar
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    I'm trying to figure out just WHOM you are going to play that song for....I would suggest you not play it for your girlfriend (if she is, indeed, still your girlfriend), unless you title it something like, "This Friend of Mine Met a Portuguese Beauty." # And, if you play it for Miss Portuguese, you better be ready for SOMEthing...whether it sucks or not.

    Jeff, without getting any of us in trouble (especially me), would you mind giving us a general idea how old you are--like say, over 25 or under 25. #That would be close enough, and might explain a lot here. #Some of us Geezers are getting a lot of smiles out of this thread.




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    Yeah buddy!! hee.. hee..

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    Wow, this sounds nice. I wish things like that could happen to me.

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    My dear jeffshuniak... ; please keep us "updated" - Remember..: PACE Yourself!!

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    Professional History Nerd John Zimm's Avatar
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    How about Jezebel for the title? Just kidding.

    Yeah, that sounds great. I can only think of a time or two that something so sinful and desirable happened to me. Keep us updated.

    -John.
    Ah! must --
    Designer Infinite --
    Ah! must thou char the wood 'ere thou canst limn with it ?
    --Francis Thompson

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    8 Fingers, 2 Thumbs Ken Sager's Avatar
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    I once wrote an instrumental for a woman I had a brief, yet intense relationship with. I included her name and hair color (from the bottle) in the title, but unless you knew her you wouldn't have guessed it was a woman's name so I still use it today. It's called "Amber Sunset #22" and I wrote it 15 years ago(?!) and I'm going to record it on my next project. 15 years ago was a couple years before I was married, mind you. Anyway, it was one of a couple pieces I wrote without a musical instrument in sight. I composed the melody, harmony and chord structure all on paper without playing a note. Talk about an obsessive exercise...

    Best,
    Ken
    Less talk, more pick.

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    I wonder how many tunes have been written after people "smoked"? I know I have sure written my share in my younger days!
    If F-model mandolins have F-holes then why don't A-model mandolins have A-holes???

  18. #18

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    I am not sure whether I should have posted that or not, but I am finished with the song , not posted yet, but at least you will know where its "coming from". its different than the original, the opening melody uses a byzantine scale on the way up and its the changes get about differently, but still have the same essence. the directions change a lot more, there's a few parts where the emotion snapps in mid measure. I played it last friday night and had a great response with it (gig) and I played it to her yesterday and she loved it so much she even called me in the middle of the night still thinking about me and I couldnt sleep after. I am going to die. and surely go to hell, but this girl seems made for me. twisted. of course, maybe this is all "spring time" stuff, you know, maybe this girl just likes me because I am new, an in the end , maybe she wont ever come out to see me play either. or listen to me play or be a part of anything, as my girlfriend seems to hate and envy all my instruments.
    funny thing everytime we hang out I write music afterwards, last night I started a more intense song, in a cubist key of D(Db superimposed) I think I will string all of these together, I think it will be neat having a neapolitan and gypsy first movement, go into a dissonant second piece, .... and I dont know. I suppose conclude it back on earth. the girl is nice , I am terrified, we both really like each other, and I have no idea where I am going.

    I get the song up as soon as I can.




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    jeff,

    loving your honesty here! we've all been in those shoes before. fun to reminisce a bit.

    looking forward to hearing the *new* version. sounds pretty complex . . .

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by (Tom C @ April 13 2004, 12:24)
    Don't let your girlfriend know what inspired you. -Or lie
    This reminds me of my favorite drinking toast:

    "To our lovers and our sweethearts.
    May they never meet."

  21. #21

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    I broke up with my girlfriend and I am living with my parents for a few weeks until I can afford a new apartment. I cant even deal with the studio right now, but I have a live version on tape I am working on converting onto cd or whatever.....
    on a pleasant note, my new girl and I hung out sunday night, actually we hang out all the time now, but sunday night was a nice mandolin night. I played on the beach, she dug her feet in the sand and laid back..she seems to really enjoy it. I like that. we had been in a park earlier, and some off duty cops yelled at us and we had to scram real fast, I lost my pick.. at the beach she ( I dont feel right posting her name right now) found me all sortsa shells to try and use. all of them were akward, but I was flattered by her effort. finally , one of them, real tiny, smaller than I use, was acceptable.. it sounded good too..real bright, makes me think..I kept the shell, #romantic you know. I hate to seem like to total selfish jerk..like my ex thinks...I really like this new girl, I would hang out and be her friend..something my exgirlfriend would have never dealt with.




  22. #22
    I'm a country mouse Bobbie Dier's Avatar
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    Jeffshuniak,
    I'm glad you went for the other girl(musician girl). I hope you don't feel too bad for your breakup after all she was your girlfriend and not your wife. That would have been a different story. Good luck to you. You sound like you are in luuuuuuv.
    If you stay with this girl for a while you'll probably find you did the right thing. Family vacations, outings can all be a bummer if your not in tune with the person you are with. Cell mate or soul mate?? I'd pick soul mate any day.
    ima
    I wandered again to my home in the mountains....

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    Quote Originally Posted by (Ken Sager @ April 13 2004, 17:19)
    ...I included her name and hair color (from the bottle) in the title, but unless you knew her you wouldn't have guessed it was a woman's name so I still use it today. It's called "Amber Sunset #22"...
    Ken,

    WHOA!! What a coincidence!!

    I used to date a girl named #22 too!!

    How cool is that!!



    ;-)
    "Ah, but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." -Bob Dylan

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    I've still got a crush #86!

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    Yeah!!.. - I remember ole' "22" from my daze" working the Baltimore(MD) clubs... real nice chick - 'till she got "overserved'... then she'd get real nasty.. Ah!!... those memories.. hee.. hee.. Carry on. Moose.

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