Women in a Mans World of Bluegrass

[sarai]

This has been a fun thread to read........why do I feel the need for prozac, a box of Kleenex, & a marriage counselor....;-)

Agreed

Hey sarai - There's a nice jam in Adrian that meets the last Saturday of the month, starting September

I might have to check this one out

[JeffD]

The directions this thread is taking compels me to reiterate my point. The side streets are interesting and entertaining, but ultimately unhelpful. So, in an attempt to be helpful, I will restate. Then I will shut up.

The problem described, in reality, has nothing to do with sexism in music, women in a man's world, the gender make up of bluegrass, or finding lady banjo players to jam with.

It has everything to do with one person in a marriage being passionate about an activity that the spouse is not into, and that this activity, by its nature, is social, and provides opportunity for the passionate partner to be exposed to others of the opposite sex who share the passion.

Thats it. Addressing that issue directly is the only useful pathway, however entertaining it may be to consider an all female bluegrass band.

[Mandolin Mick]

Thank you! If you go back to my post you'll see that I tried to address this like you have, but to no avail!

[mandolino maximus]

Depends entirely on the individuals and a couple's willingness to work their way through most things one step at a time.

If you're a sweet thing, the probability of old ##### making asses out of themselves goes up. That can be annoying. But who knows, keep showing up and a couple of other people with better attitudes of both sexes are likely to come along.

But don't worry excessively. Most bluegrassers meet at churches and Sleep With One Eye Open. And they all know that mixing bluegrass with romance is deadly.

[AYoder]

I'd like to restate my post. It seems to have been taken in the wrong directions, and seeing my faults, it seems a bit offensive. This was never meant to be of offense. What my words were meant to sound like was something like this: I've never fully figured out why more gals don't play mandolins. It's really actually a better instrument for smaller hands. That's why I ask this question...why is it that so many guys play mandolins, and not ladies? It seems that it would almost be difficult for a guy to play. In fact, I even have a hard time at it occasionally. I have absolutely no problem with guys playing mandolins, everybody has an equal chance, though.
And to sarai...have you ever tried a "gospel" bluegrass group? I believe we have several of those around here in N. Indiana. I would suggest it, seeming it would be in a better environment.

[JeffD]

I think it has nothing to do with the men in bluegrass, and very little to do with how the OP carries herself in public with BGers, and everything to do with getting her husband meaningfully involved as an enthusiastic participant. (not necessarily musician but something he enjoys).

This will have several effects:

Time spent in bluegrass will not be time away from home, but will be together time away from the house.
Others will see that he is not staying home brooding and so there is no "opportunity, even in theory".
The OP will feel supported at both ends by her husband who is having fun and by the bluegrass community.

[Marcelyn]

Jeff's pretty much nailed it, but to reiterate, at the festivals I went to this summer there were quite a few women on stage and off., so I don't see BG as being a "man's world." And to Ayoder, the women were playing everything from fiddles to basses so picking an instrument based on size or stereotype doesn't need to be an issue.
From someone who gave her fiance his first banjo and ukulele, I can tell you having a shared hobby has been incredibly fun. If there's any way to lure him in, I'd focus on that. There's no better time than now while you're just learning too. With an eye for the long term gain, it may be best to make as many compromises about the jams now. That way, you'll show him the relationship is the priority and he won't get a bad taste for BG right off.