No no, the definition of perfect pitch is,
hitting the dumpster with a banjo first throw at 10 yards, and smashing a bodhran and an accordion when it lands.
Dave H
No no, the definition of perfect pitch is,
hitting the dumpster with a banjo first throw at 10 yards, and smashing a bodhran and an accordion when it lands.
Dave H
Eastman 615 mandola
2011 Weber Bitteroot A5
2012 Weber Bitteroot F5
Eastman MD 915V
Gibson F9
2016 Capek ' Bob ' standard scale tenor banjo
Ibanez Artist 5 string
2001 Paul Shippey oval hole
Did you know that Will Rogers never met a banjo player!!!
still haven't heard that a drummer's always late, because he can only drive 40 mph.
The pizza delivery sign blows off any faster.
How do you know a banjar player's at your door? The knocking speeds up, and he doesn't know when to come in.
A violin and viola are actually the same size.
The violin appears smaller because of the player's head.
I miss Jethro. He had a million.
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Doesn't matter as long as everyone gets a turn. :-)
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
The number of teeth in the player.
What's the least used sentence in the English language?
Is that the Banjo players porche?
Q: How many Country & Western bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1...5...1...5...1...5
c.1965 Harmony Monterey H410 Mandolin
"What a long, strange trip it's been..." - Robert Hunter
"Life is too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde
Think Hippie Thoughts...
Gear: The Current Cast of Characters
So a guy answers a knock at his door and there is a raggedy guy standing there who seems to be down on his luck. The guy at the door says, "Sir, I'm a banjo player and I just can't seem to get any gigs (go figure) and I would really appreciate it if you had any work I could do for you to earn a few bucks.
So the homeowner says, "Sure, I tell you what. My wife has been after me to paint the porch out back. You'll even find paint and brushes in the garage. You do that and I'll pay you $50 bucks."
The banjo player is overjoyed and rushes out back to get the work done. About an hour later, he knocks on the door again, and says, "All done!"
The homeowner says, "That is great! You got that porch painted in an hour, that's fantastic!"
The banjo player says, "Well thank you, sir. By the way, though, with all due respect, that wasn't a porch...it was a BMW.
The difference between a banjo player and a harmonica player ? The harmonica player only sucks half of the time ......
'09 Passernig A5
'82 Kentucky
'05 Deering Sierra
'81 Gold Star maple archtop
'79 Guild D-35SB
'98 Gibson J-100
Mid 1890's German fiddle
Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.
The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."
St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"
The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."
"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"
The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."
"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"
What happens if you play blues music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
Know how to make a million dollars singing jazz?
Start with two million.
How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Jazz musicians can't afford light bulbs.
What is the difference between an harmonica and a banjo?
The harp only sucks every other note.
Dang it someone beat me to it. I tried to read them all but lost focus.
Do you know the best way to tune a banjo? Just tune the fifth string higher and higher until it snaps, then tune the other strings to that.
The mandolin player is in the middle of his lead break when the bass player stops and begins tuning the bass. The mando player stops the band and turns around, asking the bass player "What are you doing??"
Bass player: " Tuning my bass."
Mando player; " Do you change a tire while the car's moving? "
Bass player: " Not any more..."
Striving for mediocrity and perpetually falling short.
Q: why are banjo jokes so stupid?
A: so the bass player can understand them!
I can only keep them all straight by looking at the fretboard:
One visual joke deserves another:
Q: What's the best pickup to use on a banjo?
A: A Ford F150!
You guys already stole all my other ones, but I really like the terrorists taking over the banjo work shop. I'll have to remember that one! :-)
What's the first thing a blonde says on New Years Day?
Are all you guys really in the band?
A quarter tone flat and a half a beat behind.
You also get your trailer back when you play blues backwards.
Q: Why don't you ever see a banjo on Star Trek?
A: Because it's the future.
Some cute ones here.
http://ganainmcartoon.wordpress.com/
.
Q. what's the difference between a violin and a viola ?
A. viola's burn longer.
Dave H
Eastman 615 mandola
2011 Weber Bitteroot A5
2012 Weber Bitteroot F5
Eastman MD 915V
Gibson F9
2016 Capek ' Bob ' standard scale tenor banjo
Ibanez Artist 5 string
2001 Paul Shippey oval hole
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